


Sushi Chop Suey

by DandelionSea



Category: Swapfell (Fandom), Undertale, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Angst, Breeding, But with a happy ending, Death, Depression, Dubious Consent, Eggs, Fear of Death, Fontcest, Fucked Up Shit, Gross Porn, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Kidnapping, M/M, Mates, Mating Cycles, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mermaids, Mpreg, Mutilation, No Dialogue, Non-Consensual Breeding, Oviposition, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Porn, Porn With Plot, Pregnancy, Psychological Trauma, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rescue, Skipable Porn, Swapfell, heat - Freeform, injuries, mermaid au, noncon, ovipositor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-10 07:18:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13497334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DandelionSea/pseuds/DandelionSea
Summary: SwapFell Mermaid AUAfter a life threatening injury Sans, a mermaid abandoned by the only people he has ever had in his life, is picked up by a fellow mer-skeleton who happens to find him while on patrol.  However, all kindness comes with a price, and it seems that this mer-person is looking for a mate...





	1. Abandoned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DeckofDragons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Harpooned](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13390677) by [DeckofDragons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/pseuds/DeckofDragons). 



> (It is my head cannon that SwapFell Sans is called Cringe and SwapFell Papyrus is called Vermilion, and since I may never get another chance to use those names those are the ones I went with here)
> 
> So a while back I made a request of [DeckOfDragons](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/) on their tumblr asking for a Mermaid one-shot... however while waiting for them I started writing something of my own that has grown into a very long, multi-chapter fic. Please do check out their fic - and all of their fics. They are a brilliant author and without their stories I would have never even have discovered oviposition.
> 
> This isn't the first sin I've written, however it is the first one I've published, so please be gentile with me!

Cringe isn’t a crier.

When he was just a guppy, not too long out of the egg, he got too close to a turtle that crushed his left eye. He remembers how he refused to let out a single sob when he stabbed it with a bone so it couldn’t get away as his mother and the rest of the hunters could track it down. On the first hunt he accidentally put his hand down on a rock that had been heated to intolerable temperatures while stalking a whale. He had simply held a hand over his mouth so he didn’t alert the two ton mammal to their location. When he went into his first heat and had no one to lie with while his body ravaged him with hormones and fevers he was still too young to relieve he simply fixed his jaw and waited it out…

And yet, somehow, Cringe finds that he does have a limit - a threshold at which he gives in to his troubles and lays helplessly on the ground weeping silently. 

_ Why me…? _

His good eye aches from the tears that have almost completely dried out, his magic drained away through the crying and the plethora of lacerations on his tail and ribs. The lack of magical energy in him leaves him weak and numb in body and mind; he sobs only for the comfort of it now. His head and soul ache as he casts his eyes downward, still not believing his fate even after days of being alone with it.

His tail… his magnificent, lush tail that had been large enough to double the side of his hips has been reduced to a nub. A stump sitting at the end of a tattered stick of clumped together meat that once was his lower half. Even so much as twitching sends shock waves up his spine that makes him want to gag up the moss and minnows he has been sustaining himself on. Not to mention how nauseated he is made just by the sight of it… and the smell. God the smell - the water picks up flecks of his partly decayed flesh and the current churns it around, sending off a beacon to every scavenger with in a mile that there is a fresh meal waiting for them… Cringe is already battling off slugs, worms and crabs, trying desperately preserve what is left of his fleshy body. 

The actual, physical pain of his injuries is null in comparison to the overwhelming agony going through in Cringe’s mind at the moment. It just. Isn’t.  _ Fair!!  _ He was the best hunter in his clan! The leader’s son was  _ his mate _ !! His family, his friends, his relatives… his  _ life _ … it’s all gone now. They left him. To die. Alone - in a pit under the oceanic boulders that have elongated his life just long enough so he can despair over the fact that he’s dying. That even if he wasn’t, he now has nothing to live for…

_ His mate’s eyes, looking down at Cringe’s tail then back at their retreating clan. The school is already so far away… they can’t afford to wait here with a Mermaid so horribly injured. Cringe begs him not to leave, breaking down into pitiful mewls - something no mer in their group has seen him do. It’s weak; pathetic. He knows it, but he  _ is _ pathetic now. He can’t swim or hunt or fight like this; but he can still bear children. He may be damaged but he still has that - so maybe, if no one else, his mate will stay for him. Because he cares. Because Cringe can produce children for him. Because he loves Cringe… because  _ Cringe  _ loves  _ him _ … _

_ His mate takes one last look at the clan. He looks back to Cringe with pained, saddened eyes before swiping him with his tail. Cringe goes tumbling under a rock, providing him with little shelter as his mate speeds off to rejoin their school. He doesn’t look back even once… not when Cringe screams, or cries, or pleads… _

That moment is burned into his skull he will never forget the scene as long (or as short, really) as he lives. His family disappearing into the ocean, his mate carelessly swimming away, golden tail glinting in the sunlight.

Cringe moans. The thought of his mate, no matter how undesirable such ideas are at the moment, still elicits a reaction from his body. Despite being injured and on the brink of death, his body has decided his agony isn’t enough, and that his suffering can’t be limited to just the physical, emotional and physiological. No, he has to be in  _ heat  _ too! A receptive heat no less… His body is preparing to take eggs from a partner that he no longer has, depleting his body of nutrients and magic he so desperately needs. Needless to say, it is degrading and painful - as his last moments will no doubt be.

_ Can't it be over already?   _ He thinks, knowing full well he doesn’t really mean it. He isn't ready to die just yet, no matter how bleak his existence looks right now. There have been merpeople who have survived more than this!! Even if Cringe has never heard of it, surely there is at least one who survived losing their tail, learning to be a self-sufficient cripple. There have hundreds of thousands of mers over time - maybe even millions. If it can be done, then Cringe will do it! He is magnificent, after all…

His optimism gets him halfway through a strong pulse of agony zipping through him, followed by vertigo sickness brought on by his head and amplified by the infection that had no doubt formed from the untreated wounds crossing his tail.

Cringe feels more tears wanting to pour, but the only good thing about having so little magic is that it is becoming more and more difficult to cry. He clutches his ribs, shivering as a cold current comes through. The water moves in a way that suggests that a large school is passing by… possibly fish, or maybe something bigger? If he were stronger he would try to move himself up and see what it is. Maybe he could even catch himself a proper final meal? Something fitting for someone as great as Cringe… or at least as great as he used to be…

The thought makes him scowl as the sped up currents wafts his scent out into the open… making him more of a target than he already is. He curls up tight into a ball, leaving his finless meat stub extended simply because he can’t move it as he waits for the current to pass. God he is starving… and cold… and, as much as he despises admitting it, he misses his mate. He misses hunting with him, going on long swims in the morning - but most of all he misses just being in his arms. As strong as he is, Cringe loved to be held. Cuddled, pressed against someone’s warm chest - well, not  _ someone _ . His mate. 

He doesn’t understand. Why did he leave?? Even if Cringe can’t move anymore… even if he’s gross and broken and ugly now, he was his  _ mate! _ They were supposed to  _ be together _ . Cringe wasn’t supposed to be left behind - discarded like some  _ trash! _ He would have stayed if his mate was injured; he would have convinced the school to stay too and if he couldn’t then he would have carried him!! At the very least he would have put his mate out of his misery; death was nothing compared to the suffering endured by being abandoned, especially in such a state. Cringe has been, at times, accused of being cruel, but he would have never left his mate to die - never like this.

The current picks up and despite his best efforts tears start to sprout again. The water is knocking him against the rocks and there isn’t a thing he can do to stop it. He’s too weak, too spent, too  _ pathetic _ … 

Goddammit. He really is going to die, isn’t he? 

It’s not the first time the realization has sunk in, but it is the first time it has hit with such certainty. The current shows no sign of slowing down as the back of his skull is bashed one good time before he is flung from his hiding spot into the open. He lands on his face, eyesockets scooping up earth as they slide across the sandy ocean floor. 

Now, officially blind and totally exposed, he knows he’s doomed. Exhaustion has him in its grips and it isn’t letting go any time in the foreseeable future. Unable to even cry, Cringe just lays there pathetically and waits to be tumbled into a rock where his dust will mix instantly into the silty sand until it isn’t even recognizable. Strangely, despite his imminent demise, he wonders if his mate misses him? Or if he’s been forgotten quickly as he moved on to another powerful mer - maybe one of his sisters… his bloodline is the best, after all.

He moans as agony picks up in his chest again, and he can no long tell if is old injuries, new injuries, his heat, his sickness or just the awful wounds to his pride and soul. He can feel his mind slipping - his body gave up days ago and now his soul is following suit despite his best efforts. He can’t be dying just yet - he  _ can’t.  _ He still has so much life left in him. He is in his prime - he’s young, ready for a mate, children, to lead hunts, to get into fights… He isn’t supposed to be dead yet! He has so much he could do if only his tail wasn’t ripped to bloody shreds… if everything from his body, to his soul, to his  _ mate _ is telling him to give in… just give up…

Cringe’s soul slows and his thoughts turn murky. Giving up has never sounded better. Though the blackness Cringe can feel the currents die down… time loses meaning as some passes: maybe a lot, maybe a little - who is to say? He feels the ghost of his mates hands travel down his body, lifting him and carrying him away. The silt falls from one of his eyes and he swears he can see the orange shine of his scales. His mind barely processes it; giving up is still in his mind… His body is ready, as is his soul. Dying seems like the only option left…

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ But he refused… _


	2. Mated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreaded (awaited?) oviposition scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter would _not_ have been possible without [Redo_Reset](https://redo-reset.tumblr.com/), who wrote a good chunk of the actual sex here for my asexual ass. They have been a long time friend of mine and without them my enjoyment of the fandom would have been severely lacking. They currently have an ovi fic of their own out now, so please add them to your trashy network, as they are just now starting write some sin and I gotta say, they're pretty good at it.
> 
> Also, this chapter contains some non/dub-con elements as well as ovipostation, and if that isn't really your thing I don't blame ya. Just skip to the end of this chapter where I'll give you a description of events in the notes.
> 
> Enjoy

There isn’t a particular moment that can be defined as Cringe waking up… he is constantly in and out of murky dreams—swimming with his mother as a child; exploring caverns that seem to twist and turn and never end; long winter evenings spent with his sisters, or his mate, or a friend—just swimming around and enjoying the northern tropical weather before they have to migrate down south…

Sometimes, when the pain gets bad enough, his dreams turn dark. He sees snails slipping in and out of holes in his tail made by worms, or sharp rocks stabbed through his bones,  _ or powerful jaws wrapped around his fins, tearing them apart as Cringe sends wave after wave of bone constructs, hoping one will hit something vital and free him- _

After a while his body exhausts himself of sleeping and he is forced to face reality at the bottom of the hopeless trench. Cringe, the once proud Mermaid, reduced to a pile of meat and bones being devoured by parasites while his flesh retains it shape and hasn’t yet burst into a mixture of seafoam and dust…

Except…

He isn’t at the bottom of a trench???

He moves his head slowly, refusing to so much as twitch his tail as is last memories of him doing so were a little more than painful. It isn’t surprising at all that he hasn’t miraculously regrown his missing body parts - however it is confusing as to how on earth his lower half had gotten tangled up in a mess of sea lettuce, especially seeing as how there isn’t a stalk around him to be seen. Only the twisting ins and outs of a floral cave system. How did he get here…?

He carefully moves his chest, using one of the walls and his least injured arm to prop himself up into a sitting position. He is surprised to find the action doesn’t cause him nearly as much torture as he remembered. A quick touch of his scales confirms what he suspected - his flesh has ceased its decay. 

Cringe sucks in water through his gills, taking stock of the situation. Clearly he was rescued - the only way his body could have survived the trauma is with healing magic, and the seaweed bandaging is just further proof that he has been helped; but why? If it is another school of merpeople surely they have no need for a crippled mer who can’t even take care of himself anymore. 

Could it be his own school? They were no doubt long gone by now, but perhaps someone decided they turn around to collect Cringe? Even he knows that is too good to be true… the clan has never turned around once. It would put everyone in danger needlessly, and no matter how beloved and cherished Cringe was they would never risk it for just him, especially after they’ve already made the decision.

But maybe it was his mate…

His mate may have realized half way that he made a mistake - that Cringe’s new disability was worth putting up with. That he would come to Cringe’s rescue and save him from the clutches of hopeless oblivion - be Cringe’s hero, his savior, his  _ world _ once again. The thought grips at Cringe’s chest. Yes! Surely that is it. There is nothing else it  _ can _ be! His mate has returned to him to bring him home to his family and friends once more.

That brings a new question to Cringe’s mind: Can he forgive his mate? The decision his lover came to was abundantly clear - he turned around and swam away, casting Cringe into a pit to be his grave. Even if he regrets it now, he still, at one point, thought it better that Cringe dies a slow and painful death than he care for his newly crippled mate. Cringe frowns at the thought. Is that understandable, and, more importantly, forgivable? He was alone for such a long time - he called out for his clan and his mate hours after they were gone, and yet nobody came… shouldn’t he have corrected his error sooner? Seen that Cringe  _ is  _ worth keeping around before so much time had passed. Cringe truly thought he’d been left…

He takes a deep, sharp breath and spits it out. Alright, enough moping - think objectively! Cringe is now a liability - a hindrance to survival. His mate will have to care for him for the rest of his life - hunting, feeding, moving him around. The only thing left that Cringe can provide is a child, and he can get that from many other young Mers in the school. The fact that his mate came back for him at all is astounding, and he shouldn’t spit in the eye of his savior. Yes, he can forgive his mate, and he will be forever grateful for his return. Cringe will allow his mate to care for him and in return he will be everything his mate wants. He will bear him many children, prepare food that he brings him, keep him warm every night no matter if he smells or if Cringe isn’t in the mood for cuddling. Cringe will dedicate himself wholeheartedly to his mate - his entire existence will be defined by the being who saved him from oblivion. It’s the least he can do for being such a burden and to thank his savior, his love his  _ mate. _

His stomach rolls and he moans, though this time not quite in agony. Fuck… he’s still in heat, isn’t he? A glance down confirms that his cloaca has dilated at his submissive thoughts, his body hoping that Cringe’s wishful thinking will summon his mate presently to deposit his load into him. Cringe smiles to himself contentedly, rubbing his spine where his children will be.  _ Soon _ … he thinks.  _ Soon I’ll be filled with his babies… and we’ll live together happily ever after. _

The current shifts and Cringe can feel a mer approaching. He straightens his spine, trying to look less pathetic when he greets his mate for the first time in god knows how long. He doesn’t want to mess this up. Cringe wants him to know just how much this means to him, and just how determined he is to be the best possible mate…

He relaxes, steadying his steadfast soul. His life isn't over yet; sure, it may be a bit dull without his fins, but as long as he has his mate, as long as he is loved… he’ll survive this. 

He has to.

He looks to the hole in the cave lighted by flowers that glow when the current hits them - they glow brighter and brighter as they shine off the golden scales of a mer. Cringe can barely contain himself as he jumps up slightly, barely feeling the pangs in his tail through the nerves in his chest. Tears he thought he had all but cried away spring to his eyes as bubbles leave his mouth, calling to his mate. Cringe wasn’t abandoned at all! His mate is back, his mate is-

His smile falls suddenly. Ice drips down his spine, replacing the pleasant tingle that had been in his soul, beating with excitement now lost.

This… This person isn’t his mate…

Cringe watches in numb, horrified shock as the new creature swims into the cavern, locking eyes with him. This  _ creature _ (who Cringe can’t imagine ever having mistaken for his glorious mate) has a posture more fitting a seahorse than a merperson, his spine crooked and jutting in-and-out at odd angles. His scales are dull and dark from ill maintenance, clinging to his flesh like barnacles and grime to a sunken ship’s rusted hull - with the color and texture of one to match. His upper body, though skeletal like Cringe’s mate, is cracked and battered with wounds fresh and old alike. While a few battle scars can show off one’s bravery and courage in hunt or battle, injuries this numerous simply display weakness and cowardice. At best it means his so-called “savior” has a temper that his strength can’t back up.

And his face. His  _ disgusting  _ face.

He smiles like a child first learning about sex - a grin that seems as though it is permanently etched into his grossly elongated skull so that it seems even the death of the entire ocean wouldn’t cause him to frown. The smile only serves to show off a broken fang that has been crudely replaced with an oblong pearl jammed roughly between two crooked teeth just waiting to rot out. His lids droop lazily over his eyelights, hanging low enough for Cringe to wonder how on earth this subspecies of a merman can see at all!!

He stiffens when the creature approaches; the rust-colored mer flicks that ugly tail of his to float towards his captive. Cringe opens his mouth to reveal his proudly straight and sharpened fangs, hissing loudly and pushing himself away. He will not be pitied or cared for by such a substandard creature - he would rather die!!!

The hideous mer seems taken aback, smile tightening as he stops for a moment. Cringe feels a tiny prick of pride that even in his current state he can still manage to elicit an intimidated response; however, it isn’t enough as the merperson’s smile relaxes and he continues to approach.

Cringe curls back, realizing that his (admittedly pitiful) bluff has been called and he backs away.

Unfortunately his body has other plans; warmth seeps into his bones like he’s never felt before, overtaking all other sensations. On the one hand, this is good since it means he can no longer feel the remnants of pain caused by having a vital appendage ripped off… on the other it makes the cold dread pooling inside of him intensify as he realizes what this means; and why he was saved.

This wretched creature is in heat too - and he’s ovulating… Cringe’s cloaca responds quickly, ready to accept eggs from any creature producing them. Cringe, however, is not unfastidious, trying to cover his hole with a hand to discourage this  _ wretch _ from mating - but the other doesn’t slow his approach in the slightest.

Cringe hisses again, bearing his claws to strike out against the slowly advancing mer. Cringe is a skilled, trained fighter, dammit!! He will not be disgraced by some betamale, bottom feeder! His body is for his mate - only  _ he  _ deserves bear Cringe’s children. 

_ Except he abandoned Cringe to die alone at the bottom of an abyss… _

That thought alone distracts Cringe long enough for the approaching mer to take advantage and snatch up Cringe’s wrists. Despite being healed to endlessly better health he is still weak and starved, not to mention without his strongest limb, and thus he is doomed to flail helplessly in his pursuer’s grip - hissing, screeching and yelling. No. Absolutely not. He won’t allow this  _ mutt _ to put children in him!! It is out of the question.

And yet his body disagrees, heating up and cramping as his hole dilates impossibly wider. His body is stretching itself and yet completely empty of what it truly desires, the heat pushing him to chase this need despite his conscious mind adamantly rejecting. Up close he Cringe realizes just how much he underestimated the other’s size. Despite his slouch he easily triples Cringe’s height and more than doubles his weight, giving him an unfair advantage over the malnourished and injured mer. 

Cringe scrunches up his face as he shakes his head and upper body, trying to wrench himself out of the merperson’s tight grip. The disgusting fish merely coos, giving soft trills and clicks that urge Cringe to relax and calm down.  _ There is no reason to be this upset - it is only what is nature between them. They both have needs right now and this is he best way to fulfill them.  _

_ Well fuck that!!  _

Cringe’s struggles double in response to the attempted reassurance. He has better control over his so-called “needs” than this gup! Even if his body yearns for him to reciprocate more than anything he’s felt in the past few days he can still force himself to wait for a proper mate of his status - if not his  _ own  _ mate.

Fuck, what is he thinking?! He can’t give himself away to just anyone. He needs to save himself for when his mate gets here! That way he can carry his first clutch of eggs with  _ him, _ not an equivalent, and  _ certainly  _ not some gross, cheap knock off of his beloved mate. He won’t submit to this creature - not now, not  _ ever. _

Except when he does, eventually. He is too low on energy to keep up his struggles for long and he quickly depletes the last of his energy reserves, falling limp into the other mer’s grasp. The mer smiles, like a guppy catching their first minnow. He leans down and presses an almost chase kiss to Cringe’s cheek, causing him to shudder. He watches numbly in despair as his captor releases his hands so the mer can move out and flick his own tail, letting his organ extend from a hole to an ovipositor that grows almost three hands long and one hand thick. Cringe whimpers as he attempts to cover the opening at the top of his mangled tail. Surely that can’t be the thing that his body is demanding, right?? Something that big would tear him apart!

But his body responds and his hand is shot away by instinct, his body pushing forward and allowing the mer access in kind. Fear courses through him. He’s terrified of more things than he can count but the heat steadily thrums through his body, begging in a chant of hormones. It’s clear that the mer above him is enchanted, his mouth moves, nipping and kissing and biting over Cringe’s neck.

The first time he feels the length brush his scales he bristles, terrified that his luck has run out. But... that doesn’t seem to be the case. His hands somehow end up back in the mer’s grip, and though it’s strong and unforgiving, his thumb gently brushes over the delicate bones in his hands. For the umpteenth time in only a few days he feels tears spring to his eyes. He’s caught in this awful place between needing so badly and the utter disgust, and fear of pain, and loss - and so,  _ so _ much grief he has. What if this creature, this beast... what if it forgets the raw injury and lack of tail? What if he gets too rough, what if this splits him open and he can never have a clutch again?!

Then, in a surprising twist, the touches stop. Cringe watches the mer remove himself at the signs of Cringe’s distress, cocking his head. Cringe just takes the time to catch his breath. What…? Why did he stop? Isn’t this what he wanted Cringe for - to breed? To mate with? Why else bother saving him?? If Cringe refuses will he just be thrown out if the other is unwilling to force him? Surely there is no other reason for him to give Cringe aid. As much as he doesn’t want this… dying is much better, right?

He finds himself afraid of being alone again; despite his dislike of this creature, his presence is better than none at all. If this is the price for being alive, Cringe supposes… he could put up with this. Being the mother of this creature’s children would certainly be incentive enough to feed and care for Cringe, even if the idea made his pride burn.

And - he finds that he does want this. On some deeper level, on some primal, instinctual level he absolutely  _ needs  _ this, regardless of who.

So he relaxes and allows the larger mer to do as he pleases; for the sake of survival. Cringe’s mate would understand, right? If he hadn’t left Cringe alone so long this wouldn’t have happened in the first place - not that he would hold it against him. Never. And besides, his body has already made the demands on his behalf, he need only listen.

The second time Cringe feels the length nudge him, he’s positive the mer is trying to get him to beg. He presses against Cringe teastingly slow; Cringe finds a tiny whimper escapes his mouth, and all sense of control leaves his body. It is the first pleasure he’s felt in days, wounded tail becoming a distant haze in his mind. Before he even realizes it a pressure builds up on his teeth, and opening his eyes reveals that the source of it is the mer’s mouth on his in a sensual kiss.

Cringe finds himself reciprocating, his movements taken over by instinct. He would like to say it was disgusting and horrifying, but he’d be a liar. It felt like bliss, the closest thing to sweet relief he’s ever felt in heat. In the back of his mind his sanity demands he resist - this sort of intimacy is meant for his mate! But somehow the haze of the heat allows him to push that part of him aside. Sane, logical, tactful Cringe is dead, buried with his pride and senses; what remains is a creature of base desires - too busy and too tired to contemplate the true definition of its actions.

Cringe lets out a soft whimper, not sure if his hips shifting was an effort to escape or chase the sensation anymore as he moved. The tongue moved at its own leisurely little pace, not seeming to care for the needy demands of the being attached to it. The mer himself, however, seems enraptured in the movements of the other below him, eyeing Cringe as if he is the most precious thing he’s ever seen. His hooded eyes stare up at Cringe’s expression as if just trying to catch a little more of the pleasure he is causing. When Cringe finally makes eye contact with him, he smiles and begins moving. Vigorously. His hands released Cringe’s and he guides his hips closer, always careful of his captured prize’s injuries but never letting up on his desires - or Cringe’s. The former’s eyes widen and he lets out a noise of shock - quickly morphing into a steady moan. His body arches at an obtuse angle into the motions, searching for the relief the tongue alone isn’t providing him in a heat this searing.

It isn’t long after the spike in arousal that the mer seems to have gotten what he wanted, and Cringe is left to lay there gasping as the mer readjusts. Despite his body feeling the twitches and spasms of being left denied, he still feels a spike of panic as the mer lines himself with Cringe’s entrance. He doesn’t want to do this with a stranger - he wants his mate. He wants to be held by familiar arms, kissed with a familiar mouth… this is  _ wrong _ and yet Cringe needs it more than he’s ever needed anything before in his life. Because he’s in heat. Because he’s at this creature’s mercy and this disgusting act may be the only way to continue his life until he is healed.

Cringe’s hands are captured back once more in passion and the ovipositor begins its steady push into Cringe’s waiting hole. He moans, and the relief of finally accepting his body’s demands is dwarfed by the knowledge that he will never be taken back by his mate again. If there was ever a hope before... that is gone now. This will ruin him below for sure.

_ It wouldn’t be the first time such a thing happened to Cringe... _

The creature’s soft touches and trills do more to spoil the moment of bliss than enhance it. Those are the noises his mate would use on Cringe. How  _ dare _ this dumb, ugly creature think for even a moment he could mimic the behaviors of a mate! He may be giving his body over in exchange for the other saving his life, but his soul will always remain with his mate. From now to the end of his days.

Both of them are too wound up to last much longer - soon Cringe can feel the merperson release inside of him, sending heat through his body and reaching a peak in sensation. Foolishly, he thought this meant they were done; those hopes are promptly dashed as he finds that the substance inside him is not, in fact, the eggs. Unlike in his own school, where the eggs are small enough to be inserted mostly unnoticed (and certainly not uncomfortably) he feels the mer on top of him shudder as an egg almost as large as his fist enters the ovipositor and starts sliding its way down. It seems far too large for Cringe… his womb isn’t built to hold something of that size!! He lets out a sob of fear. What kind of merperson was this?!? The mer on top of him senses Cringe’s fear and gives him a reassuring smile, running a hand along Cringe’s cheek. It does little to convince him he’s not about to be ripped in half by the egg.

Luckily the egg is soft and malleable, not causing more than a mildly intense pressure before sliding down into its rightful place. His magic quickly summons around the egg to hold it, stretching and growing to accommodate the size. It causes a slight burn, but it isn’t the tearing agony that Cringe would expect. He relaxes some - that… wasn’t so bad. He could deal with this if that is the only one… 

And then the next egg comes - this one also signaled by its father’s shudder - making its way down and into its mother. Cringe feels the pressure of just two sitting there. It isn’t much, but he can tell the tight fit will get exponentially worse if there are any more gross, freakishly oversized eggs headed his way. He figures he could probably do one more before he’d feel bloated and miserable. If it’s just these two it at least won’t be painful - degrading, shameful, and horrid; but thankfully not painful...

The merperson seems in a different mindset entirely, softly rubbing a hand over the forming stomach of his new mate. He gives a gentle thrust of his hips, ensuring his new mate’s safety and watching the tiny mer for any signs of physical distress. Cringe simply gives a glare - he doesn’t need this moron’s sympathy. Just get this over with so Cringe can go back to… whatever he’ll do when he isn’t doing this! Despite his displeasure, he isn’t showing signs of overstretching and so the laying continues on.

Cringe gets to five before groaning at the sight of another egg. The merperson peppers kisses over his face - Cringe’s only response left is to turn his head to resist and growl. Sex and mating is fine if that is what the other wants, but Cringe does not want this sort of affection from him. The mer eventually gives up on that and continues rubbing Cringe’s distended stomach, as if giving him a thank you and apology wrapped up in one motion. But Cringe doesn’t want to be thanked - he wants to be  _ done  _ with this. He whines when the next two push their ways in, starting to meet resistance. The eggs slide around against each other, searching for space. Cringe gags at the sensation. It’s so gross and  _ wrong _ …. His belly bulges out of his body at this point, far past what it should be for a normal pregnancy - and yet, there’s no sign of the merperson relenting.

Eight isn’t too bad. He is bloated, sick, and his magic aches, but he isn’t stretched too thin... nine starts to burn. But by ten? Ten feels like he is on the verge of popping. He wants this to end right now, and yet he can see one more egg sitting at the top of the creature’s ovipositor and panic starts to rise in his chest. He squirms and whines, looking up at the larger mer and throwing away the last of his dignity to whine and beg for him to stop. This is his limit - he can’t fit another one. He needs the mer to understand that, and listen, and it is uncertain if he would even care. Why should he? Cringe’s whines double as he catches the creatures eyes.  _ No… no more... _

Somehow, this gets through, and the final egg never enters his body, the mer pulling out and letting it break down naturally in the tubes.

And then it’s done then - his magic has sealed the eggs in and will protect them with his life until they are born… he is going to be a mother now, but not of his mate’s children.

He feels sobs hiccup in his chest, refusing to let them out - he doesn’t want this creature to see him cry. The merperson looks sympathetic, moving forward to stroke Cringe’s face apologetically. Cringe hesitates before pushing the merperson’s pitiful attempts to soothe him away. He doesn’t need this dumb creature’s pity or remorse. It is done. Over with. Finished - Cringe’s body has been  _ destroyed  _ once more; he can’t imagine his magic will  _ ever _ work right again down there. He will never carry normal eggs after this - these deformed blobs he’ll loosely define as eggs are all that his body will accept now. He can’t even imagine these things will ever hatch… 

He will spend his entire life spent incubating infertile eggs...

Cringe let’s that realization sink in as he curls around himself - unable to properly do so now with the gross, lumpy belly in the way. The mer reaches out as if he wants to try again to comfort Cringe, though he thinks better of it and takes his hand back. Without warning he turns and swims away, leaving Cringe blissfully alone with his despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Summary]  
> Cringe wakes up in the cave, partly healed. He expects his mate has come back for him, but it is really another mer. That mer makes sexual advances that involve putting eggs into Cringe and he reluctantly accepts in order to assure his place and safety.  
> [/Summary]
> 
>  
> 
> Two other things: One, I have abandoned the update schedule. Even though this fic is already mostly completed I don't know exactly when to publish to keep everyone satisfied. I have 12 chapters so far, so updating nightly might give me enough time to get chapters out.
> 
> That being said, what do you guys think the best time to publish is? Late at night? Early in the morning? Would you really like a daily scheduled if possible?


	3. Fish Strips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe is sad.
> 
> And Hungry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who just saw Shape of Water tonight...  
> Guess who recommends shape of water tonight...

Cringe would have never slept if it weren’t for the fact that he had been on the brink of death when he was found - half starved and half shredded.  His body is so worn after so many days of constant stress that the moment Cringe is left alone he is almost instantly unconscious.

He sleeps on-and-off as his body adjusts to the new, abhorrent weight resting within him. Every so often he is roused from his dosing to the feeling of his insides turning as an egg tumbles around into a more suitable place. Each time Cringe shudders and gags, attempting to force his body into a pathetic, huddled ball. 

If only his mate could see him now… what would he think? Probably that Cringe was being pathetic - a merperson such as himself should be above such a degrading situation. He should be raging, ceaselessly fighting until his ever dwindling magic reserves are finally saps dry and he dusts with what little dignity he can. The thought of his mate seeing him in such a miserable state gives him a sinking feeling that simply adds to the constant discomfort of his current situation.

The entire ordeal would be easier on him if he could actually move around… besides escaping so that he would never have to see his captor’s grotesque face ever again, he would just like to have  _ something _ to do. Never in his life has he been forced to just  _ sit around  _ like this before - even when sick he would still flit around every-so-often. Restless pacing helped keep his senses sharpened and keen so that he could return to his active lifestyle of hunting and racing as soon as he recovered.

Except he isn’t going to recover this time, is he? His fin is completely torn off; even if his wounds heal entirely and never caused him pain again he won’t be able to swim. At best he may find a way to manage some sort of paddle if he cups his hands, but his upper half being skeletal made that even more difficult than it would be for most. 

Cringe shakes his head at the thought - it’s just a bit much for him to bear at the moment. Does this all mean his life over now? Is he really going to spend his life in this cave as that monster’s  _ mate-  _ ugh… he won’t use that word for it. Mate is something else entirely; he refuses to call that subpar merperson his mate solely for the fact that he is carrying its eggs. Cringe is an incubator, just a temporary house for its wretched offspring to grow within. Somehow that title has more dignity to Cringe than the  _ mate _ of that thing.

Besides, he already  _ has  _ a mate. Or at least, he would - if that  _ cursed mer  _ didn’t ruin his body and rob him of his sexual vitality! One look at his ecto body confirms the horror that has already crossed Cringe’s mind a thousand times before. He has changed. His womb has expanded, changing in shape in a way that is different from every other merperson Cringe has ever seen. His body now recognizes these  _ defective, misshapen  _ eggs as his, and has adapted to accommodate them. He severely doubts that it will change back once as the creatures are born, if they ever are. He can’t imagine his body would be able to birth so many eggs - and if they expand any more he’ll pop like a  bubble! So assuming he survives  _ that _ ordeal all this means is that he will never be able to take on normal clutch of eggs…

…Though maybe he will starve to death first. 

Cringe’s stomach growls loudly - displeased with the borderline-abusive neglect it has received over the past few days. It’s strange to feel so full with the eggs pressing firmly against the walls of his ecto flesh and yet so hungry. He had barely been able to keep himself from starving on his own, and now the eggs are demanding more and more of his magical energy. 

The hunger pains give way to exhaustion and Cringe simply resigns himself to another nap. Maybe he’ll dust from malnourishment. That would show his captor… he can’t be an incubator if he’s dead. The moron probably wandered off and forgot all about Cringe. Maybe he got lost in the cave and died. That’d be nice. 

Cringe isn’t quite so resigned to death yet though that he can just laugh off his fate so easily, but it helps to think there will be some kind of poetic retribution to the person responsible for his current, miserable state. Well, at least  _ some _ of his miserable state… 

He hums as he drifts off to dreams of his perfect mate where he could be held and comforted by someone who he loved.

* * *

 

When Cringe wakes up he smells fish.

The good kind. 

His eyes shoot open as his entire being responds, lunging forward to try to get closer to the enticing scent of nourishment that his body so desperately craves.  Unfortunately he remembers the eggs only after he has rolled over onto his side. Cringe clutches his middle and groans as the little demon-spheres roll around once more inside of him, making him sick. Looking up Cringe can see the face of the other mermaid, scowling as he spots the ugly dull orange of his fins. They are a similar color to his mates, though a different shade. His color is rusty, where as his mate’s was a perfect sold gold like the last rays of a sunset in summer. It is almost like blood is dried and caked onto his scales, though upon further inspection that is just the rough and dull nature of his scales. If he had to name the color he’d say… vermilion is about the shade.

The vermilion tail only takes up a small fraction of his attention as what is in the merperson’s hands is far more important. Food. White fish, to be precise - though Cringe isn’t particularly picky at the moment, despite his natural tendency to be.

The thought crosses his mind to refuse the food, to be as difficult as possible and show this bastard that he isn’t to be taken so lightly. However the thought that he might actually be denied food is enough to put those plans to rest. He can’t last much longer without some meat that wasn’t pulled from the shell of a snail. 

Cringe’s hands shoot up to the fish kept just out of his grasp as he  _ demands _ that it be given to him. Right.  _ Now _ . He is the incubator of this creatures children (willing or not) and it is therefore the father’s  _ duty  _ to relinquish all food he catches to the mother.

The mer seems almost amused by Cringe’s despite demands, giving a amenable smirk as he crouches down to strip the meat off of the meal’s bones. Cringe feels deeply offended by the action - he is a grown adult! He can debone his own meals! Neither his injuries nor his condition in any way affect his ability to carve out the edible parts of a fish - how  _ dare _ this subcreature humiliate him by implying he is a complete  _ invalid _ . 

Regardless, he takes the meat as it is offered, snatching it roughly out of the mer’s grubby fingertips. 

Despite stuffing the strip into his mouth so fast he almost bit his own finger off he moans at the taste. It is the best thing he has ever eaten. Perhaps it is because he was almost literally starved to death, but the small morsel seems to melt the moment it hits his summoned tongue. The flavor of it seems to warm his entire body, trailing down his throat and through his spine, reaching every bone, every pore - each fingertip and the end of each scale seems to trill as his body recognizes proper nourishment for the first time in his traumatic journey.

The moment is over too soon and Cringe’s hands are back up to the vermilion-mer. More. Now. He  _ orders  _ the vermilion-mer hand over the entire meal this instant! The mer just laughs, a hand floating out to rest on Cringe’s head, stroking him gently. The motion is so bizarre to Cringe that it takes him a full moment to realize that he is being pet - as if he were still some pup at his mother’s side! He bares his teeth with a growl and swiftly ducks the jesutre, using the motion to lunge once more for the fish. 

Unfortunately he falls short of his prize; Cringe had underestimated the weight of his new  _ additions _ .  The jump lands him in the arms of the last creature he wants to be touching right now. He is sat back up and the irritating mer continues to feed him strips of the fish. Unable to change the situation, Cringe simply accepts the meat as it comes. Thankfully the vermilion-tailed mer doesn’t use this as an excuse to feed Cringe substandard bites or deny him food. He continues to feed his perceived-mate until they are down to nothing but the bones, only scooping out an eye for himself. 

Well, at least this creature has the good taste to  _ somewhat  _ care for his mate, even if said mate would rather not be such _.  _ Cringe laps the last of the juice from the fish off of his phalanges. He is surprised to find that he is quite full from the meal - on a good day Cringe could quite easily take two or three white fish in a single sitting, however despite having now  _ ten new mouths to feed _ (god that thought will never be easy for him to have) he is completely satisfied. If anything a little overfull…

Another shock to him is how drowsy he suddenly feels. He thought that a meal might give him more energy to plot his escape, however his body suddenly seems quite heavy and his eyes drift shut of their own accord. He doesn’t like the idea of sleeping with the creature only a few tail-lengths away, however it seems he has little choice as he is dragged under into oblivion as the vermilion-mer coos and trills.

He misses his mate…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also congrats to [okamiisadog](http://archiveofourown.org/users/okamiisadog) for incidentally predicting almost the entire plot of Shape of Water in their fic, [a fishy story](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12435438/chapters/28302495). If you haven't already please go give it a read - it is actually what inspired this fic.


	4. Visitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe gets a visit.  
> And the author invents a new word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really fascinated by the response so far to Vermilion. It isn't what I expected at all, lol, but it is wonderful to see so many people engaged with the fic like this. I adore every single comment and kudo, and I take everyone's reaction into account when planning future fics and chapters.

Time passes again. The pocket with in the cave that Cringe currently resides in is so far removed from the sun and the tides that there is no real way of him knowing what time it is or how much is going by at any given moment. A strange routine picks up with the vermilion-mer coming in cycles to feed Cringe and fluff up the silt so that Cringe can have a fresh bed to lay in. He still insist on cutting up Cringe’s food for him, whether it is pulling snails from their shells, or deboning fish…

...or meticulously removing every. Single. Pod from a stalk of kelp with his clumsy, over-sized nubs one could _generously_ call fingers, fumbling up almost every other shell and taking more time than Cringe would _ever_ like to wait for a meal.

Really, he wishes the mer would just deposit food by his side and be gone, rather than insisting on this dumb courting ritual that just made Cringe feel more and more like an invalid. It’s not as though Cringe has any interest in spending time with the creature, even if his only other option is to sit and pray that the lumpy eggs have settled inside of him.

Which they haven’t. Not even a little.

Cringe is beginning to wonder if this is what his entire pregnancy would be like - waking up every few hours to the awful sensation of his insides turning as the eggs decide that they haven’t found _quite_ the right position yet, and that a new, minor adjustment will most _certainly_ be what they need to be more comfortable. And _hopefully_ it’s a minor adjustment, because when one egg decides that it’s found a new, cozy little spot to burrow itself into the sensation is enough to make Cringe gag for hours, even after the feeling is gone.

Although, maybe it’s just that he’s getting used to them, but it seems like some of the eggs are getting smaller; his stomach certainly feels less cramped. At times it even seems like there are fewer eggs inside of him. He hopes to whatever god might be listening that he isn’t just expanding to accommodate his new size. The idea that his ectobody is conforming and shifting in such a way that he never would have desired just adds a whole new layer of awful to this whole mess…

After seven or eight feedings Cringe starts to feel significantly better. On the one hand, it is good, since the regular food and proper rest means that is injuries are healing and causing him less pain. On the other, he is restless in a way he has never been before. His body aches with the _need_ to move - at times he can almost feel his fins again, yearning to swim fast and strong. And yet, there is nothing he can do to alleviate such a need - he is trapped - not by the poor excuse for a mer nor by the maze of tunnels he is kept in - but by his own body.

He should get used to that, he supposes. Despite healing so much , he will never recover. Not fully. This new, ripped-up body of his will be his prison until the day he dies. Hopefully one day without eggs, but who knows? It is still a possibility he dies before giving birth - or maybe he will give birth to this clutch and immediately be given another. He honestly can’t decide which thought is more horrifying; his abdomen cramps as the eggs give another roll inside of him, and he has his answer…

At the very least the stupid visits give him some kind of calendar for his poor, bored mind to go by. His body, now adjusted to eating again, demands food more and more - and it seems that he is being fed twice a day. Therefore it seems it has only been a little over eight days since the… incident. That means that his school is most likely at the midway reef now… perhaps they have stocked up as much food as they need and are on their way down south to the cooler glaciers to spend their summer. There many of them will go into a heat that will take one of two forms - receptive, where will take on a clutch of eggs, or ovulating, in which case the mer will create and deposit the eggs.

Last year Cringe experienced his first heat, which was unfortunately an ovulating one. Because it was his first time his body wasn’t yet ready to form any eggs; therefore he spent almost half the month sitting around in discomfort he could do nothing to alleviate. His mate would take time off from hunting and socializing to come to Cringe’s aid, bringing him soft sponges, or warm meat from steaming clams open by one of the natural hot pockets deep in some ravine. Really, Cringe thinks that his mate was the only reason he made it through that awful, awful summer. His constant visits made even the worst discomfort tolerable… his arms wrapped around Cringe’s chest, holding him close though those uncomfortable nights and soothing Cringe to sleep with his mere presence…

Cringe’s wistful thoughts are cut short by the changing in currents; he growls lowly. That dumb scallop must be back with a new meal. He bears his teeth as he waits for the creature to cross the threshold of his new domain, feeling less congenial than normal.

However, his scowl is dropped in favor of a dumbfounded gape the moment the merperson comes into sight. It isn’t his vermilion impregnator that floats through the opening - rather it is a fleshy mer with scales that cover her entire body. Her frame is build the same as the vermilion-mer - she too dwarfs Cringe in pure mass. Perhaps she is part of his clan? She has long red hair that is gathered up in a tangled, messy bowl at the top of her head. Her scales are a mix of blue-and-white checker-boarding up way past her curvaceous tail, giving off the illusion that she is wearing a tattered white dress or coat. Here eyes are cold and sharp, as are her teeth - almost like a shark. In fact Cringe wouldn’t be surprised at all to find out that half of her lineage was selachimorphic - he couldn’t imagine his defective captor having any _normal_ friends, after all…

At least, he _hopes_ this is a friend of the Vermilion-mer… this new shark-mer smiles at Cringe in a way that makes him feel much like the prey he is used to chasing, and it isn’t a feeling he welcomes in his current state…

Not to mention he isn’t very fond of sharks in the first place… _with their strong jaws and powerful fins, capable of out swimming any mer in a heartbeat. Their murderous, cruel intent and constant predatory gaze that fell on Cringe as he stood his down, letting others flee as he tries to stand strong against a foe he has no business fighting. No chance of winning, no hope of survival, and yet he stands there like a fucking moron because as much as he hates to admit it he isn’t being brave, he is just too scared to move as the creature strikes, snapping up his-_

Cringe didn’t realize he had started to hyperventilate until the sharkly-mer is upon him. He hisses loudly and bears his claws, ready to call for help so his idiot so-called “protector” would show up to defend him from this new threat if she dares attack him. However the new merperson simply snickers, and Cringe finds that even though it isn’t the same tone as the vermilion-mer, he is just as humiliated by it. He isn’t some joke to be made light of! He doesn’t see what is so funny at all with a shark-like mer leaned so far over him in his helpless state.

He swipes out, attempting to at least put a few claw marks on the side of her face - but his movements have slowed from disuse and his wrist is easily caught. He struggles for purchase, displeased with the new touch on his person. He wants her _off_ . _Now_. He hisses and spits until he feels the water shift and becomes aware of another presence in the small room.

The vermilion-mer has returned, standing at the entrance and watching the exchange with that dopey fucking expression that always rests so easily on his face. Cringe can feel every bone in his skull heat with rage as he hisses at the merman to not just stand there like a fucking _moron and do something about the merperson touching him._

The vermilion-mer shrugs and floats inside, clicking to the other mer lightly and tapping her shoulder in request to let Cringe be. She thankfully listens, letting Cringe snatch his wrist out of her grip as he rubs where her filthy fingers have touched as if it _burns_. Stupid bitch… he despises her already.

Thankfully her attention is drawn away from him, though he is somehow less pleased with where her gaze next wanders. His swollen belly had almost entirely slipped Cringe’s mind for the first time in days, though now with both the Vermilion and the shark mer focused on it he finds that he is brought into a hyper-aware state. He brings his hands over the bump self consciously, hoping that the stupid mer who did this to him doesn’t think that he is somehow protective over the little demons. He hates them with almost the same intensity that he has for their father.

The shark-mer simply flicks Cringe’s hands out of the way to get a good look at the eggs inside him. He whines in disapproval, cringing internally at the noise. Wow, that sounded pathetic, even to him. No wonder they treat him like a child… he needs to get his edge back!

The shark-mer prods at the lumps in Cringe’s ectoflesh with a single sharp digit. While his flesh is starting to smooth out in comparison to where it was a few days ago, the new pressure is just enough to move one of the eggs. Cringe groans in disgust as the horrid sensation of the squishy egg relocating seeps through his body. He shudders as the shark-mer hums and clicks, seeming deep in thought before stretching her fingers as a burst of magic lights at the tips.

Cringe’s first instinct is to fight back against the possible threat; his magic courses through him for the first time since his capture. He is about to summon his attack when a painful cramp zaps through him, causing the magic to dispel as he seizes. The vermilion-mer seems concerned, darting forward to look over Cringe with big, guppy eyes. He wines in distress as his fingers lightly lay against Cringe’s skull. Cringe returns the creature’s gesture with a hateful glare as he and snarls. He doesn’t need this creature’s pity _or_ his sympathy!!

The shark-mer tsks and flits the other worried merperson away. She continues with her examination more carefully this time, lighting her magic slowly so that Cringe can see its color and intent. Green. Healing magic.

Ah, it makes sense now - this mer is a healer, possibly a midwife as well… he wonders if that means that his deformed kidnapper is part of a school of inferior merpeople that have banded together in order to survive natural selection? He supposes he’ll fit right in now, if that’s the case. The thought is a sad one, but it is entirely factual; had he not been spotted by the vermilion-mer he most certainly would have perished without offspring to carry on his legacy. A fish with no fins is a dead fish, after all. At the very least maybe he could provide this clan of invalids with some proper genes to add to their pool. The injury was merely bad luck, after all, and certainly that won’t be passed down to his children. At least, he certainly hopes it won’t be… for their sake.

The shark-mer presses the healing magic to Cringe’s tail, causing him to moan in relief as tension and pain that he had forgotten was there is momentarily relieved. It is strange - how could he just _forget_ pain like that? It is as if he is already forgetting what it felt like to be at full health. The vermilion-mer seems relieved to see the tension leave Cringe’s body with the flow of magic. Had the mer noticed Cringe’s weakness this whole time?? Cringe can feel his cheeks heat a bit. He hates that he has been acting so helpless this whole time; he was barely even aware of it before, but now that his stomach is full and his head is clear he can see just how truly pathetic he’s been. He can’t let these merpeople think that he is weak in mind; his body is already destroyed beyond repair, his mental strength is just about all he has left!!

The healing-hands move up further, tackling Cringe’s belly. At first, he isn’t all that thrilled to have hands on his bloated ectoflesh. However despite his initial growls of protest he quickly submits when he realizes that the mer’s magic is beyond soothing; His stomach feel much _much_ more manageable. The pressure is slowly leaking out and Cringe feels like he can finally _breathe_ again. The minuet shifting of the eggs hardly even bothers him as he feels himself slip into a state of pure calm bliss.

He hardly notices as the shark-mer floats away, the residual magic from her healing still tingling through his poor abused body. He sighs and leans back into his bed of silt, closing his eyes to relax some.

He feels almost normal for the first time since his accident. That is, until the father of his eggs gets it in his mind that the sudden relaxation and bliss he’s in is an invitation to cuddle. It’s as if the prick takes credit for healing him, wrapping his lanky arms around Cringe and pulling him into a close hug. Cringe makes a startled, annoyed noise, slipping a hand between their chests and pushing with all his might at Vermilion. No! No! Get _off_. Vermi huffs back, brows creasing in a pout as he tries to nuzzle his face against the smaller’s will.

That is the last straw for Cringe - if his supposed mate won’t respect his boundaries then he is _done_ playing nice. Cringe promptly bears his fangs and snaps at the mer’s face. The sharp teeth catch the side of the mer’s jaw, leaving two long streaks in the bone as the other starters and pulls back. Cringe smirks in victory. There. That will earn him back some respect - he is no mere guppy to be swaddled and pampered. Injured or not he is a _warrior_ who refuses to submit to such disgraceful treatment.

The vermilion-mer practically sulks, holding a hand over the fresh injury in utter dejection and offense. For a split second that even he isn’t sure truly existed Cringe feels remorse. The stupid creature wasn’t trying to hurt him, after all - and if Cringe really was his ( _ugh_ ) _mate…_ then it would be absolutely normal for them to be close after such a check up.

But that moment of doubt passes and Cringe just smirks, bearing his teeth once more as he rolls over. He is sure now that his belly is shrinking, though he isn’t sure how that is possible… maybe his body is rejecting the eggs - though he is sure the healer would have had a stronger reaction of that was the case. He can hope, though.

He listens to the other mer for a while; he’s just standing there like a dead branch at the bottom of the sea. Cringe can hear his ugly breathing, made even worse now by the fact that it is obviously distressed and whining. He casually puts his arms over his head to block out the noise. So annoying… it isn’t much longer before the current shifts and the mer has floated away to where ever it is that he goes when he isn’t tormenting Cringe with his presence. 

 _Good riddance._ Cringe thinks, burrowing some into the silt for a nap _._  He has no need for clingy mates. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't think selachimorphic is actually a word, but sharkish sounds stupid.


	5. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe is an asshole.  
> But a determined one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters fluctuate from 1000 to 4000 words and I am not okay with that, but they refuse to sit at a steady size lol.
> 
> Enjoy~

Cringe is  _ dangerously  _ bored.

Since the healer has left his tail has gone from an agonizing ache to a constant buzz - as if his tail is wrapped in jellyfish who’s tentacles were replaced with thorns. He has taken all of the pebbles within arms reach and put them into a pile, then swatted that pile down to pick them all up again. He has counted the dips and crevasses in the wall, imagining what could have made them and how much sand it would take to fill them back up. He has picked a hole in the moss and algae that clung to the wall with hairline roots and dug up the slit entirely.

The vermilion-mer hasn’t returned since Cringe took a snap at the creature’s maw. Cringe thinks that it’s been longer than usual since he’s been fed - he would be worried he’s been left once more if it weren’t for the eggs that have been tormenting him for the past week. Surely the dumb creature wouldn’t leave his eggs to die in a pile of dust and foam, right?

Cringe refuses to worry about that; he can go much longer than this without food, and if he’s been abandoned then good riddance! He’s had enough of mates who leave simply when things get hard. 

A sharp pang goes through his soul at that thought but he shakes it off. 

No. He hasn’t been abandoned this time, unfortunately. Perhaps it’s that dopey face, or the way that the mer insisted on doing everything to speed along Cringe’s recovery despite Cringe’s insistence that he needs  _ none of it _ \- but Cringe highly doubts that a little love bite is enough to send the mer off for good. Besides, he is magnificent - a true testament to his species; even someone as dumb as his not-mate realizes his greatness. Leaving him here to dust would be the same as killing a whale and letting the carcass sit on the ocean floor for the worms. Abandoning Cringe would be a waste and he could take comfort in the fact that even a mer as dumb as the vermilion-mer is wise enough to know it.

Still, Cringe didn’t realize how much he had been relying on his captor/ provider for socialization. Mers are a herd-driven creature, after all - being left alone like this isn’t good for their health and perhaps Cringe  _ has _ been leaning on some of the other mer’s unspoken offerings just a bit too much. 

He huffs. Well that ends today! He flicks his tail with only a minor flinch of discomfort following. He decides that he is more than ready to start moving again, sits himself up with a huff, shaking off the sand and silt as he stretches. Okay. How to go about this?

His fingers aren’t exactly webbed (in fact they are entirely bone) yet cupping them tightly creates a perfect paddle for him to push around the water. After a few test swings to see just how much water he can pick up he lays out on his still-shrinking belly and gives his talk a flick to propel him off the ground. His hands dart forward, picking up as much water as they can and swooshing it behind him. It doesn’t take him far - but it’s progress. Cringe takes a moment to gather his courage to try again; hitting his fin against the ground like that causes a shockwave of pain and adrenaline to coarse directly in his soul. It isn’t agonizing, but it is unpleasant enough that he needs a small mental pep talk to get through his next launch. 

He makes it farther this time, enough to drag himself over to the other wall. Hah! Take that, fate! He won’t be crippled by some minor inconvenience like losing his most vital limb! He laughs in triumph as he turns himself around with carefully timed hip thrusts and rolls. He uses the wall as a springboard as he pushes himself up again to paddle forward, this time getting two strokes in before he lands on his belly.

He pants, out of breath and feeling alive. He rolls onto his back and looks down at his ectoflesh. It is thick and tight around the eggs - the little bumps wouldn’t hurt them, though he checks anyways. They are his children, after all, even if their father is a net-full-of-hookworms… and they might be the ones to take care of him when all of this is over. They seem to be fine, though now that he has a new angle to view them at he is certain that some are missing, and many of the others have shriveled up… his body has rejected some of the eggs. He shakes his head, banishing all worry from his mind. Plenty of the eggs still look fine - they’ll hatch and once he re-teaches himself how to swim he’ll be the perfect mother.

All in all he hasn’t moved more than a few feet total today, but it feels like a victory. His tail burns, and the worst of the wounds are back to their constant state of pain - but none of that matters. He moved again. He moved all on his own even after he thought for so long such a feat would be impossible. 

_ (Although, it wasn’t entirely alone, was it? He would have never recovered this well if the vermilion-mer hadn’t brought him to the healer and fed him so regularly…) _

Cringe shakes his head. He’s tired. Even with the extra energy he’s been feeling moving just that much has exhausted him. He is on the other side of the cave from his usual silt bed but it has been getting too soft lately with the constant refluffing of the dirt. He prefers the firmer, more clayish side here… besides, it’s nice to see the cave from a new angle. It’s almost like being in a new place. Almost. 

He closes his eyes and sighs. When he wakes up he’ll practice paddling again. If he can find a way to stay off of the ground for longer that would be nice - that way he wouldn’t have to rely on the floor as a kick off point. Swimming in the open ocean often means that he won’t be able to touch the ground without going so low into the water he’d freeze to death, if he isn’t crushed by the change in pressure.

A nap is a perfect reward for his excellent practice...

* * *

 

Cringe wakes with a start, gills working double time to keep up with the frantic pounding of his soul. He feels the urge to cry again for the first time in a while, sniffing and curling around his bloat stomach to ground himself. 

_ He saw the glow of orange in the distance fading smaller and smaller until all that is left of his mate is a golden dot. Orange flicking against blue; disappearing deeper and deeper into the ocean and away from Cringe as he is swallowed alive by the shark that has already decimated his tail. He doesn’t stand a chance alone - if only he had help! Why is this happening? Why did  _ he _ leave when he could have stayed and saved him!!! Cringe is only aware of the crippling loneliness and the omnipresent tone of abandonment as he is snapped away from the light- _

Cringe forces his breathing to slow, gills starting to ache from the exertion. His soul still pounds with a dull ache in his chest and he sobs once. Only once - he doesn’t allow himself any more than that. Crying is a waste of energy and a sign of weakness. Cringe has no reason to cry now; he isn’t dying, nor is he in any significant pain. He is fine.

Except he’s not… His soul burns with the sort of panic he remembers from when he was laid out hopeless and helpless on the rocks. He presses a hand against his stomach to feel the eggs beneath. He really hopes that the shrinking isn’t a bad sign - he is sure that at least half of the original eggs have completely broken down now, rejected and absorbed by his body. He doesn’t know why he cares - he hated the stupid sacks from the moment they were thrust inside of him - but the thought of losing his first clutch of eggs is just too much to bear for him at the moment. Would the vermilion-mer be upset? Would he turn on Cringe and take it out on him? Or would he just leave Cringe in the cave to rot on his own, just like-

Cringe whimpers and rolls onto his side, shaking. He forces back his desire for the vermilion-mer’s presence as if resisting sickness in a storm. He cannot allow himself to think such thoughts about a mer that is so inferior he resorts to taking his mate by force. He hates the merperson with every scale he has left, with every bone in his body, with every inch of his glassy soul; and yet he is the only person Cringe has access to at the moment.

After a few moments of silent breathing Cringe is able to open his eyes again. He smells something sweat. He opens his mouth and tastes the water around him, sitting up some to look around. Crabmeat - there’s a crab somewhere around him. He wriggles and flops, seeking out his meal before finding it not too far from where he was sleeping. The vermilion-mer must have put it there while he was out. The thought sends relief through him like a tidal wave; Cringe tells himself that it is just because he was hungry.

Cringe breaks into the legs of the crab, sucking out the meat from its shell with vigor. He finds a great deal of satisfaction from finally being able to handle his own food. He missed eating food that hasn’t been picked apart for him, though it feels strange. The vermilion-mer seemed to genuinely enjoy preparing his food for him… Cringe gives the crustacean an extra sniff to be sure that it was he who left it, and sure enough the familiar scent is there.

He sighs, continuing to eat. Whatever. He never liked being treated like a guppy anyways. 

 

* * *

 

The vermilion-mer does come back when Cringe is awake at some point. He comes bearing another whitefish, something that makes Cringe smile. Good. He has been sick of bottom feeders and worried that the mer could truly hunt nothing else. 

He holds out a single hand for a strip of the meat, ready to return to their usual routine. Instead, he is greeted with the entire weight of the animal being thrust into his palm. He startles, not expecting the roughness. Well… that was… rude???

Not that Cringe minds to much. He takes the fish in both hands and looks up at the Vermilion-mer in approval. Yes. Good. He is glad to be treated with a bit more dignity and respect. The mer doesn’t respond, looking distant and wounded; Cringe wonders what on earth he has done this time to upset the creature. It doesn’t take long to figure out; he notices the other’s hand go up to stroke the healing-wound on his lower jaw. There is a piece of seaweed acting as a bandage over the bite mark - The mer refuses to make eye contact. 

Cringe just snorts. Really? He’s still upset over that? He bets it didn’t even hurt! He’s just being a guppy about it. Cringe clacks his teeth jokingly and chuckles. Not so tough are ya now, big guy? If Cringe wasn’t so injured then there is no way a wimp like that could catch him to mate with - the vermilion-mer just got lucky. Surely even  _ he  _ can find humor in that.

The merperson doesn’t respond to Cringe’s lightheartedness at all, simply turning around to swim out of the little cave. Cringe rolls his eyes. Fine. If he wants to sulk he can - as long as he continues to bring food Cringe will be fine. It’s not like he cares about the other’s well being or his  _ feelings _ . Ugh. If his  _ true _ mate were here he would rip that weakling mer to shreds!

The thought leaves him with an empty satisfaction as he tears through his food, biting right through the bones just because he can now. He wants to finish early so he can start back with his swimming practice. The stinging sensation hasn't stopped in his tail, and Cringe is beginning to suspect that it never will, but it is negligible - almost forgettable as he becomes accustomed to it. He did well yesterday, and today he plans to swim at least once around the entire cave. Who knows, in a few months maybe he’ll be able to swim through the ocean again.

Refueled and filled with determination, Cringe gets back to practicing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have finally started writing the last two chapters of this fic. I was right in my estimate that it will be 14 chapters long with a chapter for an epilogue, and it will likely be around 40,000 words long by the end - about the length of a novella. I am so excited to finish this story, since it will be one of the firsts that I've seen all the way through to the end with complete closure.
> 
> So, prematurely, thank you all so much for your support! Your kudos, comments, bookmarks and hits make me feel like a true author!


	6. Porpoises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe goes exploring  
> And meets someone new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the part of the fic where I think it really starts to shine. The final two-thirds are my favorite.

If someone had informed Cringe of the fact that he would one day be without his fins he would have started learning how to summon ecto-fins as a guppy. Much of his skeletal body rarely needed extra parts, however seeing how much water resistance his new belly provided gave him the idea to try to summon more parts made of magic. If he could make webs around his fingers and tail then maybe he could swim like a true merperson again!

Of course, it wasn’t that simple. 

His body is made to create ecto-parts to house young, feed himself, and provide him with organs that he needed to function. He is designed by nature to use a tail made of flesh, and every attempt to summon ecto-fins down below caused his magic to spark uncomfortably. He was able to cast his magic down where his fins should be once, however the result is that the magic had nothing to stick to and simply floated off into the water. 

It was draining and frustrating, and ultimately Cringe was forced to give up. He huffs and lays out against the wall, thumbing over his eggs. They have settled again and for the past few feedings haven’t given him even an ounce of trouble, though that might have to do with the fact that there are only two of them left. Thankfully, the ones that remain have yet to show signs of breaking down; it seems that his first pregnancy is a success after all. And quite frankly it is a relief for the number to be so small with the eggs so large - he isn’t sure his body could take the strain of delivery if it were any more.

Cringe is starting to grow attached to his babies now that they aren’t a constant source of unending misery in his life - well, not as much as they were before. He tries to name them every so often, thinking of his sisters, his mother, his mate… Ultimately, though, they are impossible to tell apart and with their soft shells and ever-changing shapes there is no way of knowing in the first place which is which. And even if he could narrow down his choice of names to just two it seems strange to name someone before he could meet them.

Cringe sighs, waiting for his merperson to return. The vermilion-mer (who he has since named Vermilion when he found it impossible to name his children) hasn’t seemed to forgive Cringe for biting him. Which is stupid - fine by Cringe, but still stupid. It was a tiny nip! It barely left a scratch once as it healed up… which it has now, by the way. So there is absolutely no reason to still be holding a grudge. 

Cringe huffs. He has been taken by the most immature merperson to ever live… he hopes at the very least the babies take after himself in temperment...

Cringe summons a bone and twirls it in his fingers. His magic is too limited, he realizes. Before he had everything he needed with his bone constructs and occasional blasters - they were perfect for making knives and tools and weapons… He could use blue magic as well, though it was very limited. He could do little more than force a creature to slow down or fall into a trap. 

Now that he is without his ability to swim he realizes just how foolish it was to hone his magical skills only on his natural talents. What he wouldn’t give for the ability to summon something more malleable… or at the very least be able to lift himself up with blue magic and just…  _ fling _ forward instead of needing to rely on the ground. However, just because he can’t now doesn’t mean he never will - therefore he continues to practice every kind of movement he can trying to find one that will work for him.

Cringe sighs, ready to start his endless search for ways to move once more when he feels the water shift. His brow creases as he feels the current shift significantly. What on earth is that…? He summons a second bone and stakes them into the ground, using the tools to hoist himself along the ground toward the exit. Not wanting to get lost, Cringe has previously never gone much further than the natural corridor of the cave. 

He goes down as far as the tunnel leads, making a turn that he’s seen Vermilion take many times before and peering out into the ocean through a crack in the cave. 

His eyes widen at what he sees.

Merpeople -  _ hundreds _ of them, each one as large as three of his clan’s best hunters smashed together and in numbers that would swallow the latter whole.  No two are alike - all hailing from different species yet somehow communicating and working together. They are chasing down a herd of porpoises with magical spears and nets and hooks. 

Cringe can’t believe his eyes - how is this possible?? Porpoises are much further south - even when his clan swam at top speed it would take them weeks to get that far from here. The lead hunters lay traps ahead of the chasing party, and Cringe watches in awe as their strategy unfolds, separating the two leading porpoises from their followers. One particularly fast merperson chargers the larger of the pair and gets a summoned chain around its neck, hoisting it down for the others to take out its eyes. The creatures are not able to fight back in the warmer water and are quickly overwhelmed by the attacking party. 

It is, quite honestly, the most spectacular show of skill and strength that Cringe has ever seen. He is content to sit there for hours, watching the last of the porpoises felled with mesmerized glee. He is reminded of being a child again, watching his own hunters battle prey with deep excitement; the nostalgia encourages him to cheer them on despite the misery he should be feeling at his inability to ever hunt like that again. 

In the end Cringe counts five porpoises - that is enough meat for weeks, maybe even months, though he is still thinking in terms of his own clan. A school this size would need at least ten times as much food, maybe more since they are all so big. He continues to watch even as the warriors start to dwindle off, going to greet their mates and their children as they return from their hunt. There is a small pang in Cringe’s chest that he brushes off. No time for feelings when there is something this cool to be watching…

The merpeople stay for hours after the hunt is over, collecting the meat with knives and bowls to carry away to a reserve somewhere. Cringe absently wonders how they are planning to carry so much meat when they plan to leave... Surely they will migrate soon - Cringe has been here for several days now, probably closer to a couple weeks; his clan never stays somewhere this long between climates… 

Could it be this school doesn’t move?

At some point he must have completely forgotten his surroundings because he feets a hand on the back of his neck. He jumps, rolling over and summoning his weapon. Since the eggs have shrunken there have fewer times where his magic has failed him, and right now he couldn’t be more thankful for that as he faces down what has to be the largest, roughest looking merperson he has ever seen in his life. 

This one is covered head-to-toe in rough, yellow scales. She looks down at him with a scarred-riddled face, growling as she summons her axe to respond to the sudden threat from the young mother. Cringe recognizes her as the mer who took down the first porpoise just moments before. He had been impressed with her then, and he is tempted to put down his weapon in a show of respect for the creature who is clearly the most skilled fighter he has ever met. However his pride refuses to allow him - he won’t back down first, it would look weak. 

Her single eyes scrutinizes Cringe and he sits up tall through it, refusing to even imagine himself cowering in front of the much larger, more powerful mer. He knows how he looks, small, weak, pregnant and pathetically injured, yet he refuses to be seen as a coward as well. 

They stay at each other’s throats for a while, yet neither of them take the first strike. Eventually, though, the larger merperson’s stance falls; Cringe’s prideful gamble has paid off. The woman smirks at Cringe - obviously she must be impressed that one so small and so injured would be willing to stand his ground against her - and lowers her blade, lightly tapping his bone-sword in request that he do the same. The two dispel their weapons as a rush of water hits them both - Cringe being plucked up by Vermilion and clung tightly to the other mer’s chest while the yellow alpha-mer is doted over by the healer from before. 

Cringe wines at the touch, flailing to be free of the oppressive hold. Vermilion pays him no mind, clutching Cringe close with relieved worry in his eye. It seems that when he found Cringe missing from the cave he panicked - finding him about to cross blades with the Alpha probably did little to relieve his stress. 

Cringe eventually gives in to the doting, figuring it non negotiable. He sighs. He supposes he’ll allow it just this once if it will put an end to his not-mate’s constant pouting. The Alpha looks over the two of them, giving Vermilion a distasteful look.  _ It seems she doesn’t much care for him,  _ Cringe thinks.  _ At least she has good judgment. _

It does lend weight to his growing suspicion that Vermilion’s reason for choosing him as his mate is that the mer is considered substandard for his school - however, if his school is this impressive, then being with even a lesser mate would be miles above anyone his clan had to offer…

…He still does not approve of this lazy thing mating him - he wants his true mate back, even if it is a fools dream at this point.

That is the thought that finally breaks him free of Vermilion’s arms, brushing himself off as he floats to the ground. The healer rolls her eyes as the alpha laughs at Cringe - somehow he gets the feeling that it isn’t entirely unkind. The shark-mer turns him over, checking his bones, tail and finally his stomach. She presses down on his ectoflesh and a shudder rips through his spine as the eggs shift around. Dammit - they had been so still up until now!!! He clenches his fists as not to seem weak in front of the mer he has begun to admire. He steals a glance her way and is relieved to find that she has turned her attention more towards the healer - her face relaxed in thought.

As the shark-mer leans forward Cringe catches sight of something that makes him pause. Her hair hung down partly over her shoulder last he saw, but with it all gathered up now he can easily see a large portion of her neck has been bitten away - the teeth marks and grooves familiar to the ones covering Cringe’s tail. He reaches out slowly to touch them - and is immediately interrupted by both the shark-mer and Vermilion. His not-mate gathers his hands up and picks him up again, though his eyes remain on the wound. It strikes him how severe the injury must have been to leave such a scar. His own injury, while more severe, was on a much less vital part of his body; he’s never seen someone survive a wound to the neck.

He gains a new respect for the midwife, his growing appreciation for the clan’s strength stretching out to include her. The Undying mer… Undyne. He decides with a small nod that is a suitable title for her, though he doesn’t have time to dwell on it as Vermilion whisks him away. He attempts to communicate for the first time in a while and simply makes a curious sound - he wants to know where he is being taken to. Vermilion looks down, startled by the sound. Cringe feels mildly offended. Does this mer really not know that Cringe has a soft voice - it’s not like he has given him a lot of chances to use it. His mate loved his cute, curious sounds.

Mood suddenly soured, Cringe turns his head away from Vermilion.

Cringe decides to allow being carried for now regardless of his mood, primarily due to the fact that he’s finally getting to see more of the den. Hopefully he will be able to interact with someone else. Anxiety floods through him at the thought, more than he expected. He remembers just how strong and capable this school has proven to be - what if he is immediately outcast? He’s clearly weak and defenseless, so handicapped by his missing tail that he will never remotely be useful to a clan this powerful... Then again, he supposes he is being useful by being a mother. Perhaps that was a saving grace. As much as he hates that wanna-be mate of his, it’s crystal clear how much he owes him his life. 

His face scrunches up in disgust and despair as he is carried off into the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually supposed to be part of the next chapter but I split it in half because it went on far to long - so that's why the stopping point is a little awkward.


	7. Relocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe finds a new place  
> And meets some more people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this one late at night - let's see if that is a good idea! lol

Sounds can be heard up a head for several tail-lengths before they actually find the room. 

The noises coming from this unknown place are ones that Cringe is familiar with from his infancy - a nursery! Though his clan was nomadic, when it was time to settle down with new children they would often pick a coral reef in warm water and find a safe place for all of the mothers to rest while they hatch and birth. This place seems to be no different, with a spot for the expecting in front and those nursing and lying with their mates and new children in back.

It is a rather nice location, tall ceilings for the youngest to learn to swim, no harsh or sharp edges; there is even a hot spring denoted by boiling bubbles in back, giving the entire cavern a comfortable temperature. It isn’t too far off from what his clan would pick at all.

The room sparks with laughter when Vermilion brings in the soon-to-be mother; the first image everyone gets of Cringe is a frustrated and disgruntled glare at nothing desirable, as if he is fresh out of a fight with his mate. He drops the expression and flushes quickly, startled at the room’s reaction. He mostly receives sympathetic stares and understanding snickers; they all at least know what it is like to be carrying your first clutch. There is no one way to pinpoint the women, but the word submissive is entirely absent from his mind. No one is small like him, they’re all whales in comparison (or, perhaps, he would be a guppy), but the monsters’ top halves vary widely. While he had come to understand that there are more types of mers than just skeletons from interactions with other tribes his passed on occasion, it was strange to see them all mingled in one place. Shouldn’t a tribe have just one type? Surely all these different mers couldn’t just live together, right??

He feels entirely self conscious when the other expecting mothers carry 5 to 7 eggs, and he chances a look down at himself to see the 2 remaining. It was... abnormal, then, to have such a small clutch. Well, the asshole still carrying him should have considered that when he stole Cringe from the ocean’s floor. Vermilion seems jovial, uncaring or oblivious to any flaws his chosen mate might have and chirping to the women as he settles a place for Cringe among them. The cushion for Cringe is significantly smaller, as if meant for a child of their kind, but it fits him perfectly - which just serves to annoy him far more than it should.

The women positively coo over Cringe, one rubbing his skull softly as another gently pats his stomach, feeling the eggs inside. He bristles at the sudden touching, withstanding it for only a moment before slinking his way back towards Vermilion without realizing it. It wasn’t his intention to hide behind the mer that so boldly claimed him as a mate, and yet he is the only familiar creature in the room so it is exactly what he does. 

That doesn’t mean Cringe has to like it.

The mer rubs his face and presses his teeth to his skull in a chaste kiss before settling Cringe back on his cushion and sighing apologetically to the ladies. They simply giggle, forgiving the faux pas. Cringe lets out a noise of displeasure as Vermilion pulls back to leave, staring after him helplessly as he swims off. 

A pang hits his chest. He watches his claimed-mate’s tail disappear into the caves, leaving him alone in the unknown. It’s far too familiar - the sorrowful ache, the dread that he’s already forgotten. It makes his soul race and he sucks in through his gills harshly to forget these feelings. Not far behind is the rush of panic that one of the unfamiliar mers might have caught him grieving; he checks his tail out of force of habit to make sure that his fins haven’t started to droop with emotion, then remembers that they no longer exist to give away his mood. He lets his shoulders fall and just stares after the hole where his not-mate left. 

Once Vermilion has gone, the ladies all settle into a lounging position that appears far more comfortable on their rounded bellies than the upright and alert positions of greeting they offered their guest. Cringe flinches, looking back in confusion as one of the mers who touched his belly before brushes his spine with a fin. She stares back, seeming just as confused by the little mer’s response. Everyone is so...  _ touchy  _ in this clan. At home such a gesture would be considered rude and condescending. Though perhaps that’s just how it is here, mers touch and be touched casually; they mean no offence by it. He lets the thought sink in for a moment as he watches the offending mer for a response. She lets out a calming, apologetic trill in response. It seems she accepts that touch was not the way to interact with this foreign mer. He nods in response, showing calculated appreciation for her restraint as he relaxes some…

They all seem so fascinated by him - particularly his size. Several women approached with deep concern, not realizing that the newly mated and soon-to-be-mother was in fact a fully grown adult and not a traumatized, orphaned child. More than once Cringe had to open his mouth to show them his fully-grown set of teeth; thankfully the amount of teeth that a mer-adult has is fairly universal, so the message got across with the concerned mothers blushing and swimming away embarrassed. After the first few times it went from ignorable to irritating - does he really look that much like a child to these people!?

His ego bruised a bit more than he’d like to admit, Cringe curls around his middle. The mate of the lowest creature in the clan - maimed and too small to hold more than two children in his womb… Cringe hasn’t felt a blow to his pride this bad before in his life.

Then again, the women here didn’t react negatively to his mate at all… they seemed almost friendly with him. If this were Cringe’s clan and the lowest mer tried to get within even a foot of the carrying he would be beaten until he could hardly crawl away. Perhaps this clan is different in their handling of class; however Cringe, despite witnessing this clan’s actions, still finds it hard to believe that such strange merpeople can exist. 

Cringe’s drooping must have caught the attention of one of the caretakers here, because he feels a strong ‘woosh’ of water trill by him as two muscular, silky arms drop a load of sea-fruits by his head. Cringe’s neck snaps up fast to face the largest mer he has seen in his life - and in the past 4 hours he has seen some very large mers. The mer doesn’t look entirely unfriendly, smiling softly as his beard floats behind him in the water. He, much like the other hunter and fighter mers, bares scars down his body, from his face to his chest and down to his tail. A pair of horns jut from his maine, marking him as a Boss Mer - one of the most powerful and deadly mer.

Cringes eyes widen as he quickly makes himself small (something that is disgracefully easy for him) in a show of respect for the obviously superior mer. The larger just chuckles, shaking his head and pushing forward the food. It dawns on Cringe that he must be the guardian of the nursery - it would make sense, with the flecks of grey marking his beard and the dullness seeping its way through his scales. He is nearing the end of his life - though Cringe imagines it was a long and adventurous one. 

Elders are yet another subject Cringe has little knowledge on; the old in his clan were destined to die once as they are unable to contribute to the school. That is, if one made it to such an age before they either took ill, or were eaten, or got trapped, or separated… really, there were a lot of ways to die when your clan is moving around every few weeks. For this man to be as old as he looks, he must be not only powerful, but very well loved to be given a place in their society even as his use dwindles. 

Cringe decides that befriending such a man would be wise and propels himself upward with a bone, gliding to a ledge to be closer to eyeline with the giant mer. The man seems both greatly amused and impressed by Cringe’s effort, and the smaller chooses to be flattered rather than offended by the slight chuckle of a response. 

He carefully draws at his magic, mindful of the eggs. He has already used a bit too much magic today, and while before such an action would hardly phase him, the babies do not seem very fond of him exerting himself in any way. The Boss-Mer watches him with a similarly wary expression as he lifts up the fruits with his magic to his new perch and peels them with skilled fingers. Ignoring the pain in his tail he shifts it infront of him to sit casually as he prepares every single pod that had been put before him. He is more thankful now for his mother than ever before - she had insisted he learn to shell pods even as he bid to be a hunter like the clan’s strongest. The skill, once put before him, had to be mastered, as Cringe is not satisfied with a half-perfected talent. Even though he thought it to be a waste of his time then, the look that the boss-mer gives him when he sees Cringe go through the pile of eight in less than a dozen breaths makes it all worth it.

He beams with pride as he hands over a shelled fruit to the huge merperson, letting him sample Cringe’s work. He thanks his mother internally for sitting him down for all that time when he was so young. His hands subconsciously wrap around his small bulge of a stomach as the mixed emotions play out in his mind.

The boss-mer is obviously impressed with Cringe, swimming off and returning with a handful of pods for Cringe to work with - which, considering it is  _ his  _ handful, is quite a bit. Cringe smiles, relaxing some. A task… something to occupy his time with that isn’t sitting around being an incubator! He quickly gets to work, keeping his pile of fruits off to the side so that he can snack on them as he carefully peels and prepares each stalk. There isn’t a plant given to him that he doesn’t recognize, having traveled so much in his life. 

He gets into a rhythm and quickly loses track of his thoughts. His mind wanders back to his mother; the food lessons, he realizes, weren’t just lessons. They spent a lot of time together picking seaweed and deboning fish. It was… pleasant. He was glad that he got to know her so well. His mind jumps forward to his own babies - will they want to learn to prepare food, or will they be out with their father doing… whatever it is Vermilion does when he isn’t near Cringe…

Huh… it’s funny, Cringe never really thought about what role his captor has in his school, other than ‘subordinate’. He supposes that the mer may be good at medicine, perhaps a student or co-apprentice of the Undyne mer; it would explain how he was able to heal Cringe so well. Though he hasn’t actually  _ seen _ Vermilion do any kind of medicine work. There were also his hunting or fighting abilities that Cringe hasn’t yet had a chance to gage; perhaps he  _ is _ strong. Perhaps he is one of the hunters - like the ones that Cringe saw take down the porpoises - taking leave so he can mate? Or maybe he’s a guard of some sort?

He’ll have to find a way to sneak out and follow him one day now that Cringe is starting to build a mental map of the cave system.

In his thoughts Cringe failed to notice the pair of eyes watching him until he happened to turn his head just right to see them staring right at him. The little red dots are just startling enough to make him jump and throw the pods that he had been peeling up with his tail. He fums as the child snickers, despritely trying to snatch up the pods before they fell out of range of his arms. Cringe really doesn’t have the strength to go chasing after them  _ and _ get back onto his tall rock. 

And he really happens to like being up here. It makes him feel big.

The little brat swims after the fallen food as soon as they get over their fit of giggles. They swim back to him and drop the load off to the side. Cringe nods his thanks, peeling off another stalk to get started on. The mer sits next to him, tail curled up under them. They are a human-type mer, with mostly humanoid features, save for their unnaturally red eyes. Cringe met a pack of those living in the more temperate regions in the north; they happen to be rather weather sensitive when it comes to the cold. Honestly, he’s surprised that even this moderate temperature isn’t too cold for them.

They seem to be just at the age where they should be leaving the nursery; however it isn’t too odd to see them here yet. Cringe imagines they are probably taking on their first duties, whatever that may be, and returning to the nursery at night. That is, if they can survive that long away from the heated pools in back.

He doesn’t pay the child much mind until they reach their greedy little fingers towards his finished pile. While cringe’s overall speed may have been damaged by his injury, he can still move his arms just as fast as ever, and he doesn’t hesitate to dart a hand out and slap the creature’s wrist. No. Bad. Children do not just take what isn’t given to them.

The human-mer seems genuinely offended by this, clutching their wrist and frowning. Cringe simply raises a brow, looking amused. Pouting won’t work on him - he had too many sisters, both younger and older. When they realize their attempts are in vein they simply lay on their stomach and moan, sounding defeated. Cringe rolls his eyes and reaches his hand over to his own pile of fruits. There is plenty of food that he doesn’t have to worry about being left out of the lottery anytime soon, and these are probably meant to be dinner for the children here anyways. He scoops up one of the smaller pods and breaks in half, keeping one in his lap for himself while offering the other out to the kid. 

They perk up, reaching for it a little too quickly for Cringe’s liking, and he holds it back until they politely request the food. They take it and sit on their tail, munching on it contently as they watch Cringe with curious eyes. They stare at his tail long enough for him to become self conscious, sitting up a bit straighter and making noises to take their attention back up to his face. To be fair, had he seen a mer as injured as he is when he was that young he would likely stare too… 

Either way, he doesn’t like the way the look at him. He flicks his wrist, shoving them away with blue magic before doubling over in a cramp. The eggs have had enough of his tomfuckary for one day, and after all his moving around and flippant magic use they demand rest. When his abdomen settles he lays out on his back. He had shelled pretty much all of the plants, Cringe decided he deserves a rest. After all, it seems that the majority of mothers here have decided that it is time for a nap. Closing his eyes, Cringe sighs. Maybe he could get used to this place after all…


	8. Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe settles in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys - I wanted to let you know for those who didn't that I do have a tumblr. It's [dandelions-sea](https://dandelions-sea.tumblr.com). It's mostly just uploads of my fan fiction and occasionally a post here-and-there. Feel free to check it out.

Sharks are, without question, the worst thing in the entire ocean.

Cringe is certain if there is some god, or a divine being out there, the one regret it could conceivably have is putting those pointy-tooth-dorsal-fin-motherfuckers in this otherwise wonderful world. And when he inevitably dies Cringe plans on seeking out whoever is responsible and giving them a good piece of his mind.

_ The sharks closing in on the school. Everyone scatters. He can’t see his mate, dust clouds the water as one of his sisters screams - there’s no way of knowing if it is her or her lover who just died. He finds himself backed against the walls of a great barrier, nowhere to go - only fighting left as an option. His magic forms, he strikes. Aim for the eyes, Aim for the eye - that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?? But he can’t get a hit in because this bastard won’t play fair - thrashing its face about as its sharp teeth inevitably sink in to his tail, throwing him about in agony because g o d it hurts! His tail nearly rips in two before he can put enough bones through the things neck to finally kill it - finally end the torment of its attack.  _

_ But it’s too late. Too late. Too late TOO LATE! His tail is gone, his spine is cracked! He just barely survived but as his clan comes out from their hiding spots the real fear kicks in as their eyes fall on his injuries - they knowing just as well as he that there is no coming back. He won’t survive - even if he heals he’s already dead.  _

_ He calls out but they disappear, one by one they refuse to look at him - sisters who were there for him since he was born, and some who he was there at the day of their birth, all turn and feel the horrid sight. His friends bring clumps of sand to bury him even though his dust has yet to fall…  _

_ And a bright orange tail, bobbing up and down, orange on blue, as it disappears from sight as the sand and silt fills his eyes and- _

Cringe shivers, rousing from his waking-dream. He had truly woken hours ago, unable to find rest. For one - the rock he choose as a perch wasn’t so comfortable. It was fine for sitting but really it is far less comfortable than any other surface in the room and doesn’t lend much to neck support. Still, he can’t bring himself to miss that cramped room - even if the silt there was far softer and warmer. Cringe can’t deny how nice it is to look out and see other mers, finding himself relaxing and staring out at the groups of mothers clinging to their young, their mates curled up next to them in sleep. It is a peaceful scene, one he didn’t think he’d ever get to be a part of again…

Really he isn’t though, is he? His mate is long gone to the other side of the earth, settled down with another. While he has had the thought a thousand times by now it is no less painful. Is he trying to have a clutch with someone else? Has he already laid? Is he sleeping with his new family already? Cringes eyes fall to a young couple not much older than he; the mother is laid out with an extended belly pressed up against the fins of her mate, the pair gripping each other’s hands in their sleep. It isn’t so much a pang as it is a full-frontal-assault of envy that hits Cringe.

He feels the emotional light then fall into a void of nothingness almost as soon as it starts. Cringe has been over the unfairness of it all so many times that the words have lost their meaning. Yes, it is unfair. No, it shouldn’t have happened to him. If only he’d been quicker, or didn’t get cornered, blah, blah, blah… There are only so many times someone can wallow in their own misery before they get so bored with it they just accept the results of their misfortune and either move on or kill themselves. 

And for all of Cringe’s flaws, bad luck included, his worst is just how stubborn he is.

Still, he wishes that his confidence and fulfillment would return to replace his self-pity rather than this hollow boredom. When he awoke the fruits had been removed, likely handed out while he resting - leaving him nothing to do but sit there at the top of his uncomfortable, cold, lonely perch and watch the happy couples snuggle, wishing nothing more than to be with his mate - his  _ real  _ mate.

Almost as if the universe read his thoughts and horribly misunderstood their meaning, he feels the current shift in an all-to-familiar way. He sighs as he nods to acknowledge his impregnator’s presence. He determined from the little surface-lighting that enters the room and the patterns of the currents that it is presently not to long before dawn. Vermilion likely is some kind of guard then - no hunter would be stupid enough to hunt alone at night. Then again, this  _ is  _ Vermilion he’s talking about…

Regardless, he eyes the skeletal mer as he swims forward to greet Cringe. The smaller just nods, glaring as he sees the thought cross the other’s mind to try to cuddle like the surrounding mers. Cringe growls, spitting bubbles as he does. No. They aren’t mates. They are hardly even friends. 

Thankfully it seems that the other remembers the results of his last cuddle-attempt - the little bite marks have scarred over entirely now - and he doesn’t approach. He looks exhausted as he simply lays down on the rocks a tail-and-a-half away from Cringe. The smaller watches him for a long while before he judges that Vermilion is indeed asleep. Good. One less thing to worry about. He never wanted a clingy mate.

Cringe goes back to sleep, feeling cold and alone.

* * *

Cringe finds his niche in this new school.

Sure, he’ll never be a ‘fighter’, or a ‘hunter’, or even a general ‘swimmer’ again, but thankfully his life won’t just consist of sitting in that dull room carrying children. It seems the boss-mer was impressed with his ability to prepare food, and suddenly Cringe is given plenty of tasks to occupy his time with. Fish need to be deboned and descaled for the youngest guppies, certain sea-plants need to be shelled, peeled or scrubbed before they are edible. It’s all menial work - really, if this had been a few months ago Cringe would be offended if he were asked to do such busy work - but it was  _ something  _ and it made him feel useful. Besides, it takes his mind off of the ache in his tail and the ever growing distress being pregnant has put his body under.

He has help in his work now, tool. Many of the expecting mothers help with food preparation. They tend to gather in the early morning and evening, breaking at noon for lunch and naps. They form a work circle that Cringe eagerly takes part in, quickly finding who he is friends with. The social environment does wonders for his health, not to mention his mental wellbeing. He assumes that Vermilion kept him in that cave for protection, worried that the school would react poorly to the crippled mer. Logical as it may be Cringe still feels mildly miffed that he was kept away from others for so long.

He finds that he has made a friend of the human-mer child, as they now follow him around almost every day. Sometimes they even try to get under his arms when he struggles to swim. They are just trying to help, but Cringe refuses every time, shaking them off with a growl. He’d rather be slow and inefficient than suffer the indignity of being carried around by a  _ child. _

He does find entertainment in watching them - they have a bold sense of humor, playing pranks and teasing the other guppies. He can respect that; a good sense of humor is the sign of a brilliant mind. They tend to be quite the character… he’ll make a nickname out of that later.

The strangest discovery he makes is when he decides to go looking for their parents. He hasn’t seen a mother that could be theirs anywhere… in fact he hasn’t seen any other human-mers! So just before nightfall he happens to see them trying to slip away. Cringe carefully pulls at his magic and glides after them with a combination of crutches and paddles. He follows them down into a deep pool, squinting to see through the dark. It takes a lot of effort to stay stealthy as he stalks them, and unfortunately his stomach is once again expanding with the growing eggs, more and more of his magic being demanded. He realizes  after a while of falling that there is simply no way for him to get back out of the pit without help, but he has gone too far at that point, so he might as well keep going.

He follows them through the wide tunnel system before they end up in a large cavern. There he sees the huge boss-mer curled up on a bed of greenery and silt. He is already asleep. Cringe watches in awe as the human mer swims over and latches themselves onto his fur as a child would it’s parent. The boss-mer simply lifts his hand to steady the child sleepily. Cringe thought his jaw would unhinge. The boss-mer is their parent?? Surely that can’t be possible… It dawns on Cringe that they are likely adopted - an abandoned child that was picked up by the elderly mer. But why was such a healthy child abandoned. It simply makes no sense!

A small hand taps Cringe’s spine. He jumps and yelps, covering his mouth with a hand as he tries not to call attention to himself. He turns and glances at the offender with narrow eyes. How rude! Sneaking up on someone like that… His eyes can just barely make out the silhouette of another human mer. The figure is similar enough to the one he knows that he has to glance back at the sleeping pair to confirm it isn’t somehow them. Twins then?

The child giggles, reaching out its tiny, fleshy hands. In the most unexpected turn of events they place their hands directly on Cringe’s face. If it weren’t for the fact that this behavior was very guppy-like, he would bite them for their rude, unwanted contact.

They just giggle at his tense nature, blowing bubbles up as they feel every inch of his face. Eventually when they venture just a bit too close to his eye sockets he grips their wrists and pushes them away. They frown and flick their tail. Keeping a hold on his wrist. Cringe shakes his hand to attempt to dislocate them, yet the child stayed locked to his bones. What is their problem??

They continue to frisk his entire body, feeling up his ribs and down to his pregnant belly. He winces when they press just a bit too hard against his stomach, sending a mild wave of nausea over him. At the very least the frisky-mer seems to be conscious that they caused him discomfort, and they make an attempt to be gentle as they roll down to his tail. 

Cringe completely freezes when they touch his injury. Despite being healed almost fully healed by now he can’t help the wince as their squishy fingers press at the dip in his scales. He sees their face light with confusion as he thumps his nub to startle them away. It works better than he intended as they fall completely backwards in shock. He stares at them, completely confused. How could they have not noticed his tail by now?? Sure, it’s dark down here, but they must be able to see something as obvious as missing fins…

The frisky-mer moves forward after they deem it safe, carefully observing Cringe to ensure they aren’t about to be attacked. They grab his arm and pull it up, motioning towards the hole in the ceiling. He nods, and when that doesn’t get a response he thumps his tail to bounce upward, pins and needles suddenly flooding his flesh once more.

The mer wraps around his middle and pulls him up behind them. They are surprisingly strong for one so small. They and their sibling (because, honestly, who else could look so much like the character-mer?) are the only mers he’s seen in this school who look to be just smaller than he - and even then they are only just now hitting adolescence. At this rate Cringe is going to develop a serious complex about his size; even in his own clan he was at least considered average!! Maybe a bit below, if he were honest, but the size difference has never been  _ this _ bad!!

It isn’t until the two are back in the lighted portion of the cave, where glowing algae and bits moonlight that streams down from cracks in the rock light the way, that Cringe realizes that the gup is blind. They turn to him, looking just beyond his shoulder, and he sees their eyes clearly for the first time. They are milky white and unfocused, a thick film covering over the pupils as they smile awkwardly. The can sense he’s staring, he’s sure of it.

Cringe brushes it off, limping and leaning on them as they help him back to his perch. Perhaps his initial assumption of this being a clan of misfit mers wasn’t too far off... It is strange to see all of these ill-fit mers surviving in such a way. The elderly, the crippled, the blind… mers who should, by all means, not survive - if nature had its way. And yet, because the clan is so massive, with such a surplus of food, they are welcomed and protected just as any other mer would be.

Cringe finds that his not-mate is curled up on the rocks already - if not asleep then feigning it well. Cringe rolls his eyes. Even the expecting mothers and gups rarely sleep at this hour… though most are winding down. Cringe lets out a yawn as he gives the frisky-mer’s arm a squeeze in thanks before curling up on the rock. Vermilion has brought plenty of bedding since Cringe officially made this ledge his - though Cringe has since pushed most of it away out of principle. Even if his life no longer depends on it he still doesn’t want to seem weak, though now that his bones are starting to ache from carrying he might have to give in a little.

Cringe has yet to waver on his position of cuddling; Vermilion has given it a few more shots, though he is far quicker to back off now, something that Cringe appreciates. The two of them sleep no closer than one tail-length apart - should Vermilion take up enough room that it becomes impossible to avoid getting closer, Cringe stays with someone else. 

Thankfully today Vermilion is already out, so Cringe doesn’t have to spend ten minutes or so watching those damn orange eyelights staring at him all dreamily or longing or… whatever goes through that crazy grown-gup’s mind. It makes Cringe feel… weird. Unfulfilled? Empty? It isn’t a good feeling, regardless of its name. It’s the reason he doesn’t look out on the couples cuddling anymore. It just brings back-

_ Orange gold against bright blue.  _

_ Flicking farther and farther away _

_ Unheard screams silencing under the weight of the waves _

-unwanted memories.

Cringe closes his eyes, curling around his two-egg clutch. One day he’ll feel normal again - he’s sure of it. He survived dying once - that’s one more time than anyone he’s ever known. He’s strong - at the very least in mind and in soul. When these babies are born he will leave them with their pearl-toothed father and he will search this clan for the most suitable mate that will have him. He will have children with his choice of mate, and they will grow to be strong, and powerful, and  _ awesome in every way _ .

Cringe sighs, a content smile playing at his bones as he imagines his bright future. Yes. He can do this - just like relearning to swim; he just has to find a starting place and go from there. And for now, that jumping point will be finding a new, better mate! He’ll show this clan that he is worth their best.

He just has to put himself out there.

Cringe falls asleep to the tune of his latest milestone - a renewed feeling of hope for his future in this welcoming school.

Tomorrow is going to be his day. 


	9. Cringe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people give chocolates for Valentines day-  
> I give my readers angst and cringe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was never intended to come out on Valentines day. This was just a happy coincidence.
> 
> >:D
> 
> Also, there aren't any graphic scenes or violence in this chapter, but with a character named Cringe it was inevitable that he would eventually do something embarrassing. If the chapter gets too much for you just skip to the end XD. Most of it is fine though.

There are a couple of hitches in this plan of Cringe’s - the first and foremost of which is that he is confined to a nursery, meaning that everyone nearby is either a mother, the mate of a mother, a guppy, or in an egg. None of these make for viable mates, and while he could try to get close to some of the elder gups in the nursery he knows that the mothers there would have his head before he could have time to call out for someone to defend him. Not to mention that he doesn’t want to have to wait through five or six years of courting for them to be a viable mate - he already did that once, now he wants someone to cuddle with at night this instant!

Cringe sits in his shelling circle with the mothers and children, picking through the fruits as he glances around the group, looking for signs of unrest or unhappiness in their matehood. Somehow not a single mother seems unattended for - well fed, well kept, smiling carefree and with plenty of healthy young. Cringe curses his luck - so much for being a homewrecker… it’s hard to wreck a home that is fortified by such a comfortable life. 

So, no, this plan isn’t going so well… it doesn’t help in the slightest that his not-mate continues to come up and nuzzle him today, despite Cringe’s hissing and warning strikes. The mothers just giggle at the display, seeing it as playful young love. It is as if the damn ugly mer knows exactly what Cringe’s plans are...

Maybe Cringe doubted the merman’s cunningness after all… 

Cringe sees Vermilion pick his teeth with the stem of a prickly shell before eating it.

...Or perhaps he’s just an idiot who got a lucky guess in.

Either way, Cringe’s plans seem thoroughly thwarted until he can get out of this tiny cave system - if he ever does, that is. While his movement is improving, he will never be back to swimming freely on his own, so who knows what will happen to him after his babies have become independent. Likely he will just stay here where he’s safer. That fact alone is enough to make him scream - he needs to  _ move _ , he wasn’t meant to be cooped up like this!! He can still feel his fins at times, they  _ ache _ to swim again, to dash through the open ocean.

The entire thought process puts Cringe in an impossibly worse mood than he already is in. The mothers look at him with a mildly pitying expression, recognizing the symptoms of late pregnancy. He is aware that his slightly rougher movements and pouting expression just serve to make him look like a case of pregnancy moodswings - yet somehow knowing that just makes it worse. His emotions are  _ completely _ justified and have  _ nothing _ to do with the damn kids! He’s  _ crippled for life and mated to a moron! _ He can’t imagine anyone being happy in his situation. 

Apparently his mood has someone alert the midwife, because not too much later Undyne swims right in, pulling Cringe aside. Cringe goes with her reluctantly - only motivated by the fact that she might give him extra healing to make the ever present stinging in his tail lessen some.

She looks over his belly first, check in on the eggs that have grown to occupy all of the space that their tiny mother can provide. While she is examining him she lights her hands with green magic and Cringe gets his first true look at his children. Inside the soft shells are tiny mer-skeletons, curled up with their souls reflecting back the magic that Undyne is putting out. Cringe feels… weird looking at them. He still doesn’t know how he feels about them - he swings between excitement at having children and disgust for their mere existence. Seeing them like this just makes the conflict worse, somehow, and he is almost relieved when Undyne’s hands leave his stomach to tend to his tail. 

Cringe relaxes as he once again enters the realm of normalcy, the pain fading away after so long of being a constant buzz in the back of his mind.  It is hard for him to believe that at one point in his life this was his default state, despite most of his life being spent in comfort. As he relaxes he sees the alpha-mer from before glide her way into the room. Alphys seems like a fitting name for her, Cringe thinks absently. She is strong, powerful - certainly a leader of something…

Come to think of it - she would certainly make the best mate, wouldn’t she? And even if not, she would be a good person to know. She reminds him of some of his old friends…

He smiles, formulating a plan. The only single mer he’s seen yet has just floated into the room, and she happens to be admirably powerful. Cringe looks back up at the healer before whimpering and gesturing for his mate. She looks startled, and more than a little confused, checking him for a fever. When she comes back with nothing she looks at him suspiciously, but Cringe does not relent - he wants his mate to see the babies! That’s a normal thing to want right??

Normal enough to sell the lie - Undyne sighs and swims off, searching the cavern for Vermilion - but little does she know that he has already left. Cringe is no longer able to get on to his stomach, the eggs are far too big and, if he’s being honest, he doesn’t want to risk hurting them. More so now that he has seen the little silhouettes inside. So he decides to chance something that he’s been working on. Blue magic. 

Using soul magic on one’s self is dangerous - Cringe knew that but he never really understood just how so until he started trying to pick up his own soul. The soul is the processing center of all magic, and pouring magic into it while simultaneously spending energy to put it in causes a feedback loop that could short circuit and at best shave about a third of one’s HP. Cringe has yet to do too much damage, figuring out just how much he can put in before his soul speeds up uncomfortably and he has to quit. He has yet to try to glide - only picking his soul up a tiny bit before putting it back down in worry. Honestly he would be better off continuing to train his magic to form fins - but that would take months and he needs to move  _ now _ .

So he takes a deep breath, summoning all the magic he can, and jumps his own soul, moving up almost twice his height before aiming himself at Alphys. He charges as much as he safely can before letting go and flinging himself at the merperson.

Unfortunately for him, he might have charged himself just a bit too much, as instead of landing on the ground in a smooth landing like he was hoping he dives face first into the side of the cave. He is able to turn some to lesson the blow, however it does leave him in the not-so-graceful position of ‘back slammed against wall with his arms spread out’. His eyes are closed tight for a moment, trying to wrap his head around the pain he’s in. Is it unbearable? is it negligible? 

… It’s both. 

He can live with that. 

He slides down into a sitting position and opens his eyes to look at Alphys. She is looking down at him with her good eye, looking at him with a strange mix of amusement, fascination, worry, and confusion. Mostly confused, actually. It seems his little stunt at the very least has he thinking. That’s good, he hopes. 

And now… he has to…

Shit, what was his plan again?

It’s not like he can do any kind of mating dance, or show off any desirable skills (pod shelling likely doesn’t count as a desirable skill in a potential mate). He wants her attention, though, and she does at least seem somewhat impressed by his entrance. Soul magic is a fairly high level skill; one must be born with it to even attempt to use it.

Without much else to do Cringe smiles and winks, lighting his hands with the last of his magic and pressing them to his ribs. Against better judgement he lights his soul again and jumps, showing off his magical ability. She crosses her arms, intrigued. She doesn’t seem to know yet where this is going, but she is willing to hear Cringe out. It’s more than he thought he’d get, so he goes with it.

He’s out of magic to show off, which is a shame, since there is so much more he can do. That just leaves a physical display. He stretches out his tail, ignoring the return of the damned spikes that torment his healing. He thumps it against the ground, trying to show off. His belly is full of eggs, meaning he can carry, and his lower half is prepared to deposit - the perfect mate. Sure, he only can carry a few children at a time due to size, but really, who wants that many children? He is strong enough that, paired with her, their children would all survive. It’s better to have a few that make it to adulthood than many that die as children, right?

Cringe feels confident in himself and his pitch, smiling wide as he looks back up at the alpha. She is smiling. But not in an intrigued way. She looks… bemused. She’s about to laugh, though she is holding back.

Cringe feels absolutely crushed - if he still had fins they would droop almost immediately as his shoulders and smile fall. She thinks it’s funny! She thinks he’s a joke! Cringe goes from embarrassed to sour; what does  _ she _ know about him??? He’s the best! At the very least he  _ used _ to be, and his  _ kids will be the best _ . When these eggs hatch they will be the strongest mers ever to be born and then she’ll see what a  _ mistake _ she made by turning him down.

She raises a hand, trying to carefully to calm Cringe down but he will have none of it. Too late, bitch; she has just made an enemy of one of the most powerful mers in the clan!! He turns around, ready to glide back to his perch and  _ somehow _ get back up without magic-

Except the next thing he realizes he is on his back, pinned down by angry, clawed hands, starring back up at the sharp teeth of the undying-mer. He almost faints between the rough treatment, the pain, and the sheer  _ terror _ that goes through him seeing a face like  _ her _ s contorted. Undyne  _ growls _ as lowly as she can, Cringe’s soul instinctively picking up beat. Shit shit shit shit shit… he didn’t realize the midwife  _ could _ be this upset. She’d always seemed so relaxed, bordering on timid.

She must be the mate then...

He shrinks, doing his best to apologize while so badly drained and teetering on the verge of consciousness. He could worry about the lick to his pride later when he isn’t about to be dusted by the enraged wife of the mer he just flirted with.

Undyne is eventually detached from Cringe, hauled away by a pair of skeleton arms and handed off for Alphys to reassure that she isn’t going to leave for some half-pint skeleton. Undyne continues to be held back as she hisses and clacks out her death threats to the exhausted mer. Cringe wheezes as he is scooped up into the same arms that drug Undyne away. He is far too weak to struggle against Vermilion, though he can glare with vehement despise.

Vermilion just returns with a mildly amused, though entirely serious  _ i-told-you-so _ look that Cringe wants nothing more than to claw right off of his face. He doesn’t get more than a light tap with his claws in; he suddenly finds himself completely drained of any remaining energy.

Cringe goes limp in defeat as Vermilion carries him back to their perch. He sees as they swim through the cavern that he has attracted a crowd with his little show there… never before has he wished so much that he had been bitten through during the shark attack. He wants to be dust so he can sink between the grains of sand and far,  _ far  _ away from the looks of amusement and pity. 

His eyes droop, unable to stay open on their own any longer, and he gives in to unconsciousness if only so he won’t have watch what little self respect he has drain away through tears in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Cringe tries his hand and flirting with Alphys. It goes about as well as expected; Undyne is less than thrilled about it.


	10. Clams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe breaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This, friends. This is the chapter I have been waiting for.
> 
> When I originally thought of this idea I had no plan of writing, however THIS SCENE. This is what prompted me to write this ENTIRE FIC. Just for this. ONE. MOMENT.
> 
> IT...
> 
> Isn't all I hoped it would be, honestly; It's not even in my top three of fav moments in this fic now - but I'm glad that it kicked me back into writing fan fiction again. So, with that said, enjoy <3

Cringe has never been depressed before; not once in his life. Not when his mother passed, not when his mate left. He has lots of emotions, but most of them revolve around anger, regret and rage. He’s been sad, sure, but never in his life has he just opened his eyes, looked out at the world, then closed them again with zero desire to move. It’s not like he’s needed anywhere right now; there are others who can shell pods, to think that he is indispensable to the operation would be delusional. He’s much rather stay her, in the pile of silt his mate dumped him on after his embarrassing display yesterday.

So this is his life now, huh? The school’s bumbling idiot mated to a mer unable to find a suitable mate within his own clan? It is  _ far  _ from the first time he’s had this thought, though it is the first time he has found himself grimly accepting it. This  _ is  _ his life now, and struggling to escape it will only make him miserable. 

The tides roll in and out as he sits on his perch sullen, watching his mate leave to perform his duties in the morning, return in the afternoon with lunch, then leave again for the evening. Cringe hardly touches the fish when it is brought; he picks at it some, eating a strip or two before just discarding it and lying still. 

After his mate realizes that Cringe hasn’t done anything for the entire day he whimpers, nudging Cringe with a hand. Cringe growls with little enthusiasm, turning over on his side. He doesn’t have the energy to threaten any more - he couldn’t care less what happens to him now anyways. This is his mate now - likely for the rest of his life. He wishes that the thought made him feel something, instead just leaving him with a sinking, hollow pit in his chest.

Vermilion whines, checking Cringe’s arms, tail, ribs, soul - looking for something that could possibly be wrong with his mate. Cringe rolls his eyes. Does the oaf not realize that the problem is him?? Or... at the very least that he isn’t remedying the situation by his continued presence. He remains displeased throughout the examination, though he doesn’t growl again. It would take effort and he has a limited amount of that at the moment.

That night Vermilion sleeps closer to his mate than Cringe would have liked, but it isn’t like Cringe  _ could _ move the larger, so he just closes his eyes and goes to sleep once again. Huh. He’s never been able to sleep this much in his life… normally just getting the six hours he needs a night is a challenge. Maybe it’s the eggs. They do feel much heavier as of late… perhaps he is getting close to their hatching date. He could only hope.

The next morning he once again feel no motivation to leave his comfy spot in the silt, not even to roll over and fluff his bedding. Maybe it has something to do with how eating suddenly doesn’t appeal to him at all. He can smell the fish that Vermilion is piling next to him (where this mer gets so much food is beyond Cringe) and in his head he knows he likes it. It’s whitefish, whole and unmolested by Vermilion’s inept phalanges; but when he tries to take a bite he just feels sick at the blandness on his summoned tongue. Stupid fish… not being worth the effort of eating it… He pushes it away with a threatening growl before the brief, angry emotion he feels trickles down into emptiness again. 

He crosses his arms and burrows his skull into them. His mind wanders back to the eggs and what happens when they hatch. His belly has swollen up again to almost the size it was when he had been stuffed with the full clutch; it is far more manageable with just the two, though. Since seeing their silhouettes Cringe’s emotions have been horribly muddied. Are they going to get big like their father, or will they be stunted for their school because of Cringe? Is Cringe really meant to pass on his genes? By all means he should be dead now, if it weren’t for his now mate’s insistence that he lives - is luck something that can be passed down to his progeny? His inability to get away from the shark must be some kind of defect… What if his current lack of energy makes them lazy and ill suited for the cruel, cruel ocean? 

It’s strange to him that for so long he saw himself as superior to Vermilion, when in reality he isn’t much better. His body is small, his magic is lacking, and he is so tired all the time. Was he ever the best? Back in his clan it sure seemed that way - he was on top! But was he really? It’s hard to remember what that was like - living without pain, or difficulty. Now he can hardly even swim more than a few tail-lengths before exhausting. His tail aches day and night, pins pricking at the fins he no longer has as every twitch sends pain shooting through him, as if his tail is constantly asleep.

How can he possibly be a good mother when he’s obviously so weak and ill suited for life!? He didn’t really want to carry children, not yet at least. He is young, and while he loved his younger sisters he never really found any interest in raising a guppy. And now he’s going to have two! Two babies! Are they going to hate him - or worse, will he hate them? Will he live his life in this state of apathy while two little demonic parasites drain him of his magic and his will? They’ve already accomplished that and they haven’t even been born yet! 

And when they are, what can Cringe do to actually raise them?? He can’t provide for them physically once they wean off his magic. He can’t protect them, even if his magic returns to full strength (which there is  _ no _ guarantee that it will) and his tail is still ripped to shreds. He’ll never be able to teach them to swim, nor hunt, or go on adventures with him. 

And what if they die? What if the defects they inherit from him cause their deaths? Will he grieve and mourn, or will he feel nothing when the creatures he bore inevitably die? 

And all this just congeals into a ball of stress that  _ thunks  _ into his chest and grows until he can feel it pressing against his soul and ribs, burning his insides and making him feel small and helpless. 

By midday it seems that Vermilion has become worried enough to seek out the midwife. Undyne hardly looks happy to see Cringe, and he could say the same, honestly. Seeing her just reminds him of how much of an  _ ovipositor  _ he made of himself, adding to his ever-growing shame and distress. He sags, sinking impossibly further into the muddy bedding as Undyne gives a quick examination.

She checks him, rolling over his bones in much the same way Vermilion had. Cringe just sits and accepts the treatment, too lethargic to even be upset about it. He closes his eyes as she pulses magic through him, searching for any signs of a leak, or unseen damage, or a problem with his soul. The only benefit Cringe sees from all of this is that his tail numbs some and he relaxes into the ground, just hoping that the feeling lasts a little longer. 

He is content for a while to let the examination continue until he senses a shift in the water around him. Cringe cracks open an eye and glances at his mate, who is openly staring at Cringe’s belly. It occurs to him that the lightshow is probably giving Vermilion his first viewing of the babies just like the one that Cringe received a few days ago. He looks… awestruck. As if he is witnessing the most amazing, beautiful event of his life. Cringe watches confused as the fully-grown mer openly cries at the sight of the tiny gups within Cringe’s magic. The smaller can’t help but snort. Really, what a weakling… crying at the sight of a guppy… It doesn’t bother Cringe as much as it would have a few days ago - he feels the same way. Pathetic and weak; what a pair they make! It’s almost perfect in some sick way.

Undyne, satisfied that Cringe isn’t about to keel over and take the babies with him, floats off. Cringe receives one final death glare, though at this point all he can do is huff and roll his eyes. Whatever. It’s not like he was able to attract her mate anyways...

Vermilion suddenly snaps back from his shock of seeing his children for the first time, eyes once again firmly on Cringe. He frowns, his hands engulfing the smaller’s skull and lifting him up so that their foreheads touch. Cringe finds it in him to squirm a bit at that, disliking the touch more than he doesn’t want to move. When their heads part Cringe sees Vermilion’s eyes glow for the first time… or, well, his one eye. The scar through his right eye seems to inhibit his ability to light it. A shame, though really not too much of a disadvantage. 

The color of it is, if Cringe admits, quite stunning. His magic is the same color as his tail, only somehow... _ more _ . The deep orange flickers against the water, making shapes and patterns that light the pillar where Cringe has made his nest with the soft orangy-red glow. Against his will the knots in Cringe’s shoulders slowly start to untie; the lights are calming in a way he hasn’t experience since he was a child. It’s strange to think that he’s never seen his new-mate’s magic before; why hasn’t he at least tried to show off some of it to Cringe? Is it because it’s weak, or is it some other, more embarrassing reason? Somehow, for the first time, Cringe doubts it’s because the other can’t use it.

Without warning Cringe finds that he is lifted up, too distracted by the show of color to prevent it, and carried out to his normal circle of “friends”. He groans, struggling weakly against his mate’s strong grip. He  _ really _ doesn’t want to see anyone right now. Why can’t they all just respect his desire to suffer in silence??

He is placed down on the mossy rocks where he had made his perch, looking out at the group. The mers are grooming - they must have just eaten lunch as they gather around and brush the hair of those who have it and scrub their scales. Cringe looks down to see his own tail looking dull and his bones covered in dirt. Faintly he hears an old part of him telling him to be ashamed - he looks as messy as a flounder. He hears it, acknowledges it, and begins scrubbing without feeling a pinch of indignity. There is no more room in his current emotional catalogue to waste on something as petty as his appearance.

Vermilion attempts to help, running his greasy fingers over Cringe’s skull. Cringe wines softly, brushing him off. No. Stop. Desist. He’ll just make it worse and make more work for Cringe. Doesn’t he have a tail to clean attached to that crooked spine of his?? Vermilion removes his person from Cringe (something for which he feels endless gratitude through the haze) yet he doesn’t leave Cringe’s side, refusing to take his eye off of him. Cringe sighs. It makes sense - it’s was a _good_ _mate_ does…

Cringe shudders at the thought and promises himself never to think the words “good” and “mate” about the other again.

When his eyelights wander Cringe notices many of the mother mers looking at him, eyes soft and brows crinkled. He snarls a bit when he catches them. Pity is a waste of time, and the fact that it is being expressed so openly for him is humiliating, degrading, and unpleasant. Most of the time they simply avert their eyes, though once or twice he sees the sorrowful look intensify. In those cases he gives up with a sigh and looks away. He just couldn’t care that much right now… he does make a list of people to be mad at later; for when he’s feeling up to angry and petty grudge again.

Shortly after Cringe has picked clean every scale he has left on his body there is a huge shift in the water that can only be one person. The mammoth merperson Cringe has playfully named Asgore for his many scars (Goring him, as one might say) returns with an arm full of today’s catch. Cringe perks up a little when he sees what it is, or rather, smells what it is…

Clams! 

Cringe actually feels a bit excited. Clams!! His school only got to eat those once a year when they pass by their breeding grounds. He would go out with his sisters and scoop them up, carrying as many as they could to the floor of the ocean where lava would seep out and steam bubbles rise… He remembers waiting by the rocks as his clams would pop open, immediately to be dragged back to him and his sisters to divvy out the haul. The warm, tender taste as they would gorge themselves every night they could before they left has never left his mind. It’s home - the feeling of being back with his family and friends, and maybe, even though he can’t have that again, he could at least have some of the clams.

His eyes dart over to the natural hot spring not too far away. How fortunate; the water should get close to boiling in back. He hasn’t needed to cook any food in a while; even back in his clan it was only once or twice a year they found anything that needed it. Cringe can already think of the perfect rock to boil his clams on... He flips his tail with excitement, looking over to see just how many clams Asgore is bringing. He is suddenly in decent enough mood he can almost completely ignore the pleased look Vermilion gives him when he realizes Cringe’s excitement. Clams… he hopes they have some laver left to wrap them in, that would be  _ perfect _ .

The clams are dumped into the center of the circle and Cringe practically lunges himself forward to grab an armful, much to the amusement of the entire group. They can kiss Cringe’s cloaca for all he cares - he  _ finally  _ gets to have his clams this season. He immediately starts swimming with his treats towards the hot springs, expecting the clan to follow him. They've lived here longer than he, after all - they probably know the best places to cook clams! 

Yet Cringe is shocked to find his arm yanked by a familiar honey hand, stopping him in his tracks and causing him to drop his bounty. He spins and turns back to Vermilion, bearing his teeth in the most feral display he has given thus far. Fuck. Off. He will  _ not _ have this - the  _ one joy _ he has felt in days - ruined by his crab-of-a-mate. Vermilion looks down right shocked at the visceral reaction, letting go of Cringe immediately and holding his hands up in stunned surrender. Cringe frowns, sinking down to the floor to collect back up his treats. He hopes none of them broke… Clams should only be cooked in the shell.

As he gathers up the last of his load he notices something that almost makes him drop them again. His jaw falls as he watches the mers in the circle take the precious clams and  _ slam them against the rocks with their bare hands. _ A deep sickness suddenly hits Cringe’s middle and he doesn’t believe it to have anything to do with the babies this time. That’s… that’s not right. That’s not how you shell clams!! They’ll be gooey, and disgusting, and carry diseases!!! Those idiots are  _ ruining _ the clams!!! 

Cringe sits there for a long moment before huffing. Fine. If this defective clan doesn’t know how to do it properly then that’s  _ their _ problem.  _ Cringe _ will have a  _ delicious _ clam dinner  _ by. him. self. _

He turns around and lights his magic to move him along, refusing to take part in this sacrilege as he heads for the hot spring, only to be stopped by his mate once more. The mer looks deeply concerned at Cringe’s behavior, and Cringe is having absolutely none of it. No one - not Vermilion, not this school, not even _N_ _ eptune himself _ \- is going to stop Cringe from enjoying his clams. He grabs Vermilion’s soul by his magic, yanking him forward faster than the tall mer can react. Cringe pulls their faces together, bearing his teeth as if he were a shark, then throwing his hand - and Vermilion - violently to the side.

The entire circle’s attention is drawn to the commotion as Vermilion slams into the wall, sending shockwaves out into the entire cavern. Cringe huffs in satisfaction. He feels as if the message has been properly received. Head held high, Cringe turns around and continues his limping parade out toward the hot springs. He is already building back excitement for his clams…

Before he can even make it to the door he is stopped by a pair of very strong looking mers. They wear shells down their body as a suit of armor and carry long, jagged spears. It seems as though they came out of nowhere, and for a moment Cringe wonders if they have been here the whole time, out of sight. The thought doesn’t really matter now because they are currently blocking the way between him and the place where he can cook his clams, and that is unacceptable. He pushes himself to the side, attempting to go past them politely - yet they just shift and continue to block his path. Cringe huffs. Rude… He shoots himself to the side as he attempts to get past them, and yet his magic is just too weak and too slow to get up the speed, and without his tail he has so little control; he is caught before he can even get around the bend, carefully dragged back to the nursery. As he moves the clams topple out of his hands and he yelps louder than he would have if they struck him, struggling desperately to hold onto his precious cargo. He cries out harshly as he watches them fall to the group… one… two… three… four… Half of his clams are gone now and he thrashes against the arms holding him. No!!! No they can’t do this!!! They can’t!!! They  _ can’t!!! _

The two mermen carry Cringe inside to Vermilion, placing the thrashing mer in his arms as he struggles and screams.  _ They can’t do this!! They’re ruining my clams!  _ There will be a limited number of them and Cringe is watching as the group of mothers and gups  _ mutilate _ the supply!! Even now the ones he dropped are being taken away; he feels closer to tears than ever before, which is silly, but at the moment this is nothing less than life or death!

Vermilion trills and coos to Cringe, trying to calm him down as he realizes that gobs of his magic are floating in the water. It takes Cringe a full minute to realize that those are his tears. He screeches in rage, doubling his efforts trashing about - he can feel his stomach cramping up as the babies are jostled in their mother’s fit, but Cringe hardly cares, choosing to continue to throw his tantrum in spite of them - fighting his way through the pain with a complete mental breakdown.

The commotion attracts the attention of Alphys eventually, the yellow mer dashing in to observe the situation. Her eyes meet with Cringe’s and a small flare of hope sparks in his soul. She is (at least in some way) in charge!! She can make them stop! All he has to do is show her the proper way to shell clams and they’ll let him go! Even if he made himself look stupid, even if she hate him now, he knows that she is a fair and just mer. He calls to her, beating his tail back against Vermilion. If he were in a right state of mind this action would burn, but he has blocked all pain from his mind in exchange for complete focus on the task at hand. 

Alphys looks deeply concerned and Cringe grins, finally stilling in Vermilion’s arms. Yes! Yes she sees the injustice put upon him and has come to remedy the situation! He knew he was right to want to make a friend out of her… He straightens his spine and breathes in quick bursts, awaiting his rescue- 

-only to have his remaining clams taken away as Alphys motions callously to the guards to fetch the midwife. 

Cringe watches in mute horror as Alphys turns and leaves with his clams, taking the last of them away to be smashed to bits like the rest of them. He goes completely limp, tail slack against Vermilion’s ribs. The ragged rise and fall of his chest hits against Vermilion’s ribs, making soft clacks that seem to echo into the void surrounding Cringe. The pain is dull, tail, stomach, ribs and throat all pounding as he recovers momentarily from his hysteria. It’s… It's not fair… Those were his…  _ those were  _ his _ fucking clams!!! _

He screeches, though this time it isn’t as much rage lacing his voice as it is somber defeat. He feels loss renewed tenfold as he is reminded that his old way of life is gone - his family, his familiarity with the world around him. None of it is left. The water around him is dyed with a purple tinge as magic falls from his eyes and into the water. He doesn’t thrash this time, just hanging limply from Vermilion’s grasp as he sobs hoarsely. Not fair not fair not fair  _ not fair!! _ He wasn’t stealing - if they had let him he would have brought back the clams he didn’t eat. They always let the mothers snack from the pile, so why is this different?? Why can’t he have this  _ one comfort  _ from home?? In a sea of unfamiliarity he thought… he thought he had something he could latch on to. Something  _ familiar _ .

How could this be taken from him too?

Cringe hardly notices the worried glances following him as Vermilion carries him out of the room entirely, down the hall and back to the cramped cavern that Cringe called home for the first part of his pregnancy. He curls up on himself as his body is racked with sobs. The all consuming despair in his soul keeps him busy as Vermilion darts out of the room and returns with Undyne. 

Cringe doesn’t react when the midwife touches him, nor does he so much as flinch when she opens his mouth with a thumb, forcing some sort of plant inside that makes his tongue tingle when it forms to accept the food. Cringe allows himself to swallow it, sniffling and sobbing as she rolls him over and checks the eggs within him to make sure they haven’t been damaged by the fit. It occurs to Cringe belatedly that his thrashing could have easily caused a miscarriage, though he can’t bring himself to care at the moment; his head and arms suddenly feels heavy, and he can’t tell if it is the plant or the pure exhaustion rolling through his body.

Vermilion nods at Undyne on her way out, curling around Cringe protectively. He makes sure that Cringe’s skull is at a comfortable angle as he can no longer move. Cringe looks up at Vermilion with hooded eyes, mind slowing down as much as his body. Vermilion catches his eye and smiles, rubbing his mate’s temples. Cringe finds the touch more soothing than annoying, and readily chalks that up to the mysterious drug they have fed him. 

The plan did not work… that’s okay. In the last haze of his mind he formulated a new plan - there were far too many clams for the group to crack in one night by just slamming them against the ground. So in the morning Cringe will just have to wake up early… yeah. That’s what he’ll do. He’ll wake up early, swim out there before anyone can seem him, grab as many clams as he can carry, and eat them himself. 

Yeah… that’s what he’ll do…

The drug mingles with his own exhaustion, allowing him to relax into Vermilion’s hold and into the silt below. He lets his mind rest easy. He has a plan. He’ll get them tomorrow. No reason to worry. He can just… relax…… and……….


	11. Pearls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe gets a gift.  
> It is disappointment.

_ What? Where…? Who…? Ouch… Head hurts… feel slow… gotta move… _

Cringe can barely remember his own name for the first five minutes of consciousness, groaning as he slowly comes back together in his head. His body feels as if it could be part of the mud; it is hard to tell the two strikingly different substances apart. His fingers

sift through the gritty sand, rubbing the tips of his phalanges together and watching the crystals fall through. Slowly but surely, his memories come back… 

The ocean water around him weaves through his bones, the currents aren’t as strong in the little den, so it is impossible for Cringe to tell what time it is. He moans turning over on his side. He has to hurry if he wants to get to the… the thing. There was a thing, wasn’t there? He needed to get to it. Yeah… that’s right.

He hauls himself up and flicks his tail, groaning as the pins-and-needles of his lower half start up. Oh, that’s right. No tail. That’s unfortunate. He finds that he can’t draw his magic as easily as before, only able to turn his soul blue for a few moments before it sputters out. He tries to summon webs for his hands to help push the water but similarly they only spark. His abdomen hurts suddenly - the eggs in his stomach urging him not to move so much. He sighs and wraps himself back up in the silt.

Whatever it was he had to do, it could wait a bit, right? Yeah, his head feels all fuzzy and his magic is sparky - he needs to rest before he does anything…

His eyes close before he had time to fully rationalize his nap as he falls back asleep…

* * *

Cringe wakes with much less tranquility than when he went to sleep.

He shoots up, his mission the first thing on his mind. The clams. He has to go right now!! There is no way of telling how long he slept in, though judging by the torn up fish left for him Cringe can safely bet that it is sometime after noon. 

_ After  _ noon - he hopes to the gods that he hasn’t missed his chance.

He cannot reach his magic at all, he realizes with mild horror. He continues to breathe, refusing to fall into panic. If he is to succeed he has to keep his wits about him. He digs his phalanges into the ground and begins to claw himself forward out the tunnel. He has learned to navigate these halls since the last time he was kept up here in this room - there is nothing stopping him from just leaving now.

Cringe makes his way down by pure determination, mindful of his tail and belly as he crawls through the tunnels and caves. He can’t fail - he just  _ cannot _ . He needs to get those clams, not just because he wants them for himself anymore, but to prove to the clan that he isn’t crazy or just suffering from mood swings. He had been upset for a  _ reason _ \- not just because his body now carries two tiny mers in it. 

Cringe is not one to stand for being misunderstood.

To Cringe’s utter dismay the water is flowing with more than just midday currents. There are hundreds of mers in the halls before him, speeding around from here-to-there to do their daily tasks. Cringe whines, anxiety pulsing through him; there is simply  _ no way  _ he can get through such heavy traffic! He’d be trampled before he got even halfway to his goal...

Thankfully, before Cringe can even attempt to dash out into the crowd, He hears a gratingly familiar coo; Vermilion swims up to Cringe with concern written onto his features. He carries with him a woven bag slung over his shoulder - It seems that he was on his way to some sort of duty. Vermilion looks at him with worry that Cringe simply has no time for.

Vermilion attempts to reach into his bad, fishing for something but Cringe is too impatient to find out what. The smaller merperson takes Vermilion by the hand, whining loudly. He points towards the nursery. He wants to go back. _ Now _ .

Vermilion debates it for a moment, seeming worried by the proposition, but the fact that Cringe would just escape the tiny cave again must have won out in his mind because he carefully scoops Cringe up into his arms and carries him down the hall. Cringe relaxes when he is sure that they are headed right to the nursery - and his clams

_ Please still be there… Please still be there… _

He repeats the phrase over and over in his head, his hands gripping into Vermilion’s bones with anticipation. The larger mer flinches but doesn’t dare try to remove the claws.

When they finally arrive at the nursery Cringe practically throws himself off to search for his items. The circle has convened after their midday meal and grooming session, thus obscuring the place where the clams had been from Cringe’s eyes. He whines and crawls his way forward, pushing through the crowd (despite their polite way of moving aside from him). 

They have to still be here. They have to. They can’t just be-

-Gone.

They’re gone.

Not a single clam from the day before remains in the pile; instead there is a heap of kept and waiting to be husked and husked. Cringe stares at it uncomprehendingly for a while. His chest hurts in a way it hasn’t for a long time. Disappointment? Despair… He just doesn’t understand. How could they all be gone? He had wanted them so,  _ so _ badly to be there and yet they aren’t. Why? What did he do wrong? How could this be happening!?

The tightness in his chest is accompanied by a thickness in his throat as Cringe hangs his head. Now there is no way he can communicate what happened - they’ll all just think he’s crazy. And he doesn’t even get a warm clam dinner to show for it. He trembles as he feels hands touching him - a few of the women offer up the ruined-clams, pressing the gooy meat into Cringe’s hands and making him shudder. He appreciated the gesture, but it isn’t what he wants. He hands the clams back and slinks away, pathetically dragging himself back into a corner.

He curls up around himself, letting his tail stick out at an odd angle to soothe the ache that has started to develop there after two days of abuse. He wraps his arms around his belly to take comfort in the only other two souls that he felt he could rely on now. Really, things aren’t so bad, right? He has a mate (albeit a shitty one), he has food, and friends, and he’s  _ alive _ . That’s much more than one in his position could ever expect. 

And yet, somehow, he still feels empty inside. Over clams?? What is wrong with him!?

_ He and his mate sitting on rocks, watching the bubbles rise as their clams steam. His mate is making little drawings in the sand, captivating Cringe’s mind with shapes and unspoken stories. His sisters not too far away, chattering and laughing and teasing as they see Cringe in his puppy-love state, too absorbed by his mate’s presence to scold them or chase them off. _

_ He and his mother together by the stone. Him being too small to reach out and get the clams himself so she drags them over to him with her magic, pulling apart the shells and letting Cringe pluck the little meat out of the bowl. _

Cringe notices the water glowing with his tears and lifts up a hand to bat them away. No. Crying is stupid. He isn’t a child anymore - he has grown since then. He’s better than this…

A bony hand taps his shoulder lightly and Cringe sighs. There is no energy in him to growl or hiss and honestly he isn’t in the mood for it. He just wants to know what his faux-mate needs of him at the moment. Cringe isn’t even shocked to see the dope with a lost and sad look on his face.  _ Yeah… me too _ .

He lays back down, head tucked into his arms. If he cared to be a good mate he would be appalled with just how crappy of a mate he’s been. But he doesn’t care. He  _ can’t _ care… even if he  _ did _ like Vermilion in that way, which he isn’t sure he ever will, he can’t… he can’t let himself love someone - anyone - like that again. He can’t put himself in that position, because if he does-

_ Orange tail disappearing into the distant blue ocean. _

_ He screams in despair, loneliness…  _

_ Heartbreak. _

Cringe feels himself cry again, and this time there is nothing he can do to stop it. Why him? What did he do so wrong that the universe sees fit to punish him this way? He can’t be so pathetic that the world just sees him as an easy target, can he? He sure does feel that way.

This time the tears are wiped away by a soft phalange. Cringe notices for the first time just how delicate Vermilion’s hands are - they always seemed thick and nubby before, but perhaps it was just his clumsy nature coupled with just how  _ large _ everything about him is… even for the average member of his clan. The only one Cringe has seen so far who is bigger than his mate is Asgore.

He feels his chin lifted off of the ground and Vermilion’s eyes glowing into his. Cringe’s expression hardly changes, just feeling a slight sense of curiosity at what the other is planning. Unsurprisingly Cringe is taken immediately in for a kiss. He doesn’t struggle, or fight - he just closes his eyes and accepts it as he desperately blocks out the memories that such an act conjures in his mind.

_ Orange on blue... _

Eventually, when Vermilion pulls back Cringe finds that his energy has been restored some. Did his mate just transfer magic through a kiss…? That’s… so extra. Why would he choose to do it that way when there are so many other ways that could be done…? It makes him feel warm inside; he forces himself to believe that it is just from the sudden influx of energy in his soul.

While Cringe is pondering that Vermilion twists around the bag at his waist. He opens it up and holds it out to Cringe, who simply looks at it expectantly. Well? Is Vermilion going to show him what’s inside or not!? Vermilion looks mildly annoyed, rolling his eyes a bit as he takes Cringe’s hand by the wrist and shoves it inside of the bag.

Cringe’s eyes go wide.

No… it can’t be.

His fingers run along the smooth surfaces that he has known since early childhood. He draws his hand back out of the bag, taking along with it a palm sized clam. Cringe stares at the item in awe and a slight lack of comprehension. How…? They were all smashed to bits, and yet Vermilion saved a few whole ones. For him.

He snatches the bag and upturns it, counting his bounty. Eleven - that’s twice as many as he had carried off before being stopped yesterday. He can feel the tears slow and the pressure in his soul release as he runs his hands over each of them, looking up at the smiling Vermilion with new eyes.

He never noticed it before, but the little pearl tooth makes his smile look so much more sincere and childlike… cute, almost.

Cringe has no time for this revelation, as he realizes he now has a fresh batch of clams to show off his amazing cooking ability! He practically throws himself into Vermilions arms - he is the fastest way that Cringe can travel at the moment, after all. He makes sure every single clam is back in the bag as he motions Vermilion forward towards the hot spring. 

Confused, yet unquestioning, he follows the command.

Cringe can barely contain his excitement as he hops down onto the rock. His body practically sings in the heat and a bout of pure elation runs through his body as he settles down by one of the hotter rocks. Vermilion looks weary of Cringe getting too close to the heated surface, though he makes no motion to stop Cringe’s plans - not that he could if he wanted to.

Cringe carefully picks up two of the clams, deciding to use them as testers to make sure that this rock is sufficient for all of them. He carefully rubs the dirt off and scrubs them with his finger tips. When he is done he looks them over with a careful, examining eye. Yes. These will do nicely.

He pops them on the shelf and lays out to relax while he watches the heat do the work. He allows Vermilion to stay close and observe the process simply because he knows just how fascinating it can be to watch clams cook for the first time. 

Out of the corner of his eye he notices Vermilion drawing circles in the rock - leaving no trace behind as his finger ghosts out something that Cringe’s mind can’t see. The motion makes Cringe feel annoyed and uncomfortable in a way he can’t quite place; he puts a hand down on Vermilion’s to halt the motion, giving him a pointed look:  _ watch the clams, dumbass.  _

Vermilion looks bemused, though Cringe counts it as a win as the larger turns back to the rock with hooded eyes and watches the clams. 

Cringe is elated to see the look of shock on Vermilion’s face when the other notices the clams opening. He can practically hear the gears turning as Vermilion carefully reaches out and plucks up a clam. Cringe grabs the other one to eat as he watches Vermilion take his first bites of  _ proper _ clam. 

The taste is everything Cringe remembered it to be - warm and tender and melty. The cooked meat sings on the tip of his summoned tongue, almost bringing tears to his eyes. Almost. He hums in delight, keeping his eyes open only to watch the same reactions spread across the other’s face. Vermilion seems to be having his own experience, absorbed in the new tastes. Cringe can feel his mouth quirking up into a completely natural grin, amused and warmed by the reaction.

See? This is what all the fuss is over - and it was absolutely worth it in the end for these clams.

He places the rest of the clams on the shelf, content to watch them cook - shoving them around with a stick every now and then to be sure they are cooking. Vermilion finishes off his clam and gives Cringe the most awed look that causes his soul to swell with pride. Yes, yes, he is very brilliant - this oaf should have known that from the beginning!

Surprisingly, the thought has less of a bite to it in Cringe’s mind than it normally does.

Vermilion excuses himself and dashes off. It doesn’t bother Cringe too much - after all, he got his clams, and he was reassured that he was correct. There is no reason for him to desire the others presence…

…Still, this is… a lot of clams to eat by one’s self. 

Cringe settles down into a relaxed rhythm of watching the calms cook and rubbing his belly. Stupid babies; messin’ with his emotions like that. He wipes away the beginning of tears from his eyes as he fights past the pit that he feels in his soul. He isn’t alone, after all. He has company - even if he can’t truly see them, nor can they to him.

Cringe finds that he isn’t alone long. Vermilion returns, tugging along a confused and reluctant Alphys. Cringe feels his soul skip a beat as he straightens up, suddenly trying to look as presentable as possible. Gods only know what Alphys must think of him now… he has been acting so pathetic lately. He ducks his head in apology for the trouble he’s caused her, genuinely ashamed of his behavior. If anyone from his old clan could see him now they would be taken aback. Cringe? Humbling himself?? Never…

And yet, he does has respect for the other. Flirting with her before getting any information on who she is (and who she was  _ with _ ) was inappropriate. He still thinks highly of her, and admittedly he wants her respect as well as he friendship.

Cringe can feel the water shift and looks up to see the warrior towering over him, looking at him with an eyebrow raised. He blushes under her gaze, but just like the first time they met he doesn’t waver or look away. He is willing to face her - and when these babies are out of him and he has his magic back to full strength, he wants to spar with her and see just what this so-called captain is capable of. Alphys’ lips curl up in a smile and Cringe sighs in relief. 

Vermilion motions to the hot rock where the clams have just begun to open. Cringe snaps up as he realizes what Vermillion has planned. Yes, of course!! What a perfect way to make up for his behavior!! He takes Alphys by the hand and leads her over to the rock, mindful of just how much heat a fleshy mer can handle. He allows her to watch in concealed fascination as the clams open on their own, and Cringe scoops up the closest one to present to her. It’s an explanation, a peace offering, and a gift for his new friend; he just hopes that she is willing to accept at least one of the three. 

She takes it carefully, mindful of the heated shell, and reaches inside. Cringe can see Vermilion already reaching out to snag up another one. Cringe raises the end of his tail and brings it down on Vermilion’s hand gently. It’s not as graceful as when he used to do that to his sisters for similar offences, but it gets the job done (even if his tail stings some now).

Cringe watches in delight as Alphys nods approvingly, keeping a schooled face as she tastes cooked clams for the first time. But Cringe knows that she is as impressed as Vermilion - he isn’t sure how, but he can just tell. She nods at Cringe after swallowing, giving him a smile. She understands now. She points to one of the clams on the rock just starting to open again, requesting to take it with her. Cringe imagines she is going to share it with that mate of her… maybe Undyne will forgive Cringe if she realizes they came from him.

He’s willing to hope as he scoops up another one of his precious clams to share. Somehow he doesn’t seem to mind that much - there really were too many here to eat alone, after all.

He watches Alphys float away as he turns back to his clams, gathering them off the rock before they burn. Vermilion looks at them with pleading eyes, looking back up at Cringe and giving the most pathetic (and adorable) guppy-fish pout. Cringe rolls his eyes - his babies better not inherit their father’s begging abilities. There is no way he would survive.

He splits the remaining treats between the two of them, relaxing in the heat of the room. God, he is still tired. Whatever herb they gave him hasn’t quite left his system yet, and as his panicked frenzy from the morning dies down so does his energy. He settles into the warm dirt as he eats, picking at his scales until they shine. He lets a hand rest on his belly, thumping over the outline of his children.  _ Their _ children.

Vermilion’s hand is suddenly on his, making Cringe jump. Vermilion is quick to pull back his hand, obviously fearful that he had somehow hurt or upset his mate. He looks at Cringe cautiously before resting the hand back down gently on top of Cringe’s, running his fingers along the summoned flesh of Cringe’s womb. Cringe sighs, relaxing as he watches the movements of Vermilion. Those orange eyes are focused entirely on his belly - or at least the one that still functions is. 

What is he thinking? Is he excited to be a parent? Obviously he must be, otherwise do any of this? Cringe wonders back to his purpose here… why did Vermilion bother saving him? The surface answer is obvious - carry the other’s children. Due to Cringe’s injuries that is about all he can do for the foreseeable future… but if that were his only goal then why go through all the trouble? Keeping Cringe confined to that hellish, dull room wouldn’t be difficult. There is no reason to let Cringe out like this, nor continue his attempts to get close, nor do any of… this…

As much as Cringe would like to continue thinking that his mate is the worst, he can’t deny the facts - Vermilion is very sociable when he puts his mind to it. He gets along fine with all the mothers here, he is friends with Alphys and Undyne, and Cringe hasn’t witnessed a single unpleasant interaction between him another mer since he arrived. So he does have options. Then why Cringe? Why go through the effort of saving Cringe, of continuously trying to win his favor even though Cringe has denied him every time?

Does he really love Cringe? Could such a thing happen? 

Or does he just  _ think _ he loves Cringe…?

_ Orange and Blue. Unending agony - alone and afraid, so afraid, so uncertain... _

Cringe is broken from his musing when he sees eyes boring into his. He notices a purplish glow flickering against his mate’s face - it takes him far too long to realize that the source of the light is his own eyes. They must have ignited without him knowing it. He quickly forces them out and looks away from his mate.  _ Stupid… idiot…  _ glowing like that is weak. It shows far too much vulnerability, and Cringe still isn’t certain his feelings on Vermilion yet…

Vermilion just smiles, pulling Cringe gently closer into a hug. Cringe isn’t too keen on the contact, though that is just the intellectual half of his brain talking. Every part of his being desires to be lost in this creature’s arms. But something is holding him back, and even though Cringe knows exactly what it is he can’t bring himself to dwell on it. The past is in the past - he would like to let those memories die like he did that day. Things are different now.

There is one clam left - Vermilion had been fiddling with it while Cringe was lost in thought, he realizes belatedly. The taller hands the clam over to Cringe with a doofy smile that forces a chuckle out of Cringe. What is he hiding??

Cringe positions himself on the orangy-red tail, prying open the clam with gentle fingers. His eyes widen as he sees what Vermilion had hidden inside. 

It’s a pearl - opalescent with hints of blue and purple accidents, just like his scales. The girls must have found it in one of the clams and Vermilion traded for it. That or he had the impossible luck of finding it himself; Cringe can’t even imagine what he bartered, or the deal he made, to get his hands on such a beautiful item. Perhaps he had favors to call upon?

This thought occupies Cringe’s mind so that he doesn’t have to think about what this means. A pearl - it is the most traditional mating gift. His other...his old...ex…  _ He _ had always made promises about getting one for Cringe when they had their first litter, though each year their heats would be mismatched and they would have to postpone. He watched his sisters receive their pearls from their mates - some of them got polished shells, or just particularly shiny rocks, but they all got  _ something _ . It was more than Cringe ever had…

Until now, that is.

He stares down at it, still trying to take in the true intention behind such a gift. Does Vermilion really mean this? To be mated to a merperson without a tail for the rest of his life… And if he does, does  _ Cringe  _ want this? Does he even have a choice in the mater? The mer had already forced him to carry once, if Cringe refused would he just disregard it and try again? 

Once upon a time, Cringe had options too - and he got to make his choice in mates, on his terms. 

But apparently, he had chosen wrong.

So maybe, it would be better to leave such things to the hands of fate, as leaving his destiny at Cringe’s fingertips seems to only spell disaster and heartbreak for him

_ Orange on Blue. _

Cringe smiles thankfully at Vermilion, reaching a pair of finger between the lips of the clam. He refuses to acknowledge the acute disappointment on Vermilion’s face as he retrieves the clam meat and pops it into his mouth. He slides off of Vermilion's lap and onto the ground, curling up for a nap. Vermilion recovers from his letdown quickly, as he simply closes the clam and tucks it away somewhere to lay beside Cringe. 

It isn’t the cuddling of mates, though it isn’t quite  _ not  _ that either.

Vermilion wraps a hand around the back of Cringe’s skull, keeping the other arm firmly tucked at Cringe’s belly so that he can feel their children between them. Cringe finds that the position is just comfortable and non-invasive enough for him to allow it, settling down with a sigh.

He has a lot to think about… later. For now he is happy to fall asleep in the warmth, the taste of his clams on his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who I met at Atlantale; It was such a treat to attend. The highlight of my trip was meeting one of you readers who apparently lives not too far from where I do. It was surreal, and amazing, and it made me so happy to see the face of someone who enjoys what I create.


	12. Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe settles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long break - I wanted to give myself some time to process and maybe work on a few things before I finished this up. This week will likely end out this story, and I'm so excited to see how everyone reacts to these final chapters. This one is the last slow part until the end ^u^

Routine used to be the most important part of Cringe’s life.

When he still had his clan every day would start with swimming. Even when his school wasn’t migrating there was still hunting, gathering, and sparing; If nothing else, simple strolls were always most pleasant in the mornings. Sometimes it was just him and his thoughts, reflecting and making plans; it was pleasant just to have the moment to himself before the rest of the clan woke up. Sometimes, he’d take someone with him for company. His mother… one of his sisters…

~~_ His Mate _ ~~

Then after he was done there he would have breakfast. Depending on where they had traveled to that could be any number of fish, clams, bottom feeders. Sometimes if they were near a hotspot they could cook their food. Then after that there would be afternoon chores, lessons for the guppies (Cringe had just started teaching basic swimming and battle techniques before the  _ incident _ ) then there would be night chores, migration, planning with the elders… by the time everything that needed to be done was over with it would already be time for bed again.

~~_ Then Cringe would curl up with his mate, cuddled close to keep warm _ ~~

Things have been pretty chaotic since Cringe moved in with this new clan, yet ever since his meltdown with the clams life seems to have taken a turn for the routine. He has now been living in the nursery longer than he hasn’t. He has names for every single one of the mer’s he’s met; he knows their personalities, their likes, their dislikes, their interests, their quirks, their positive  _ and _ negative traits. Soon it feels as though he knows them as well has he did his own family.

Every day he works to prepare food. It is amazing to him that a tribe that has clearly advanced and grown beyond his home school could have not known how to properly prepare so many different food items. Cringe’s clan wasn’t too keen on socializing with those outside of their own circle; however when they happened to crossed paths with other packs of skeletal mers they often traded and exchanged knowledge. Perhaps this clan has simply never socialized, though he doesn’t see how that is possible.

Perhaps simply  _ no one  _ in this part of the ocean knows the secrets his clan stumbled upon...

Either way, it does leave quite the role for him to fill in the nursery as a teacher. It started with Chara following him into the volcanic room, watching him from what they seemed to  _ think  _ was a very cleverly hidden place. He just smirked and let them watch on - it is, after all, not every day that they get to see one as brilliant as he at work. Then one day Chara started bringing their sibling with them to take in the smells and sounds. Then the next day they brought a friend. Then another…

Soon it was obvious that Cringe had an audience, something that made him beam with pride. He started to show off some with his technique, performing tricks that made the water around them shoot bubbles or tossing clams around with his magic. It gave him some room to experiment as well, the children bringing in food that was never traditionally cooked in Cringe’s clan. He took it as a challenge, and while some of it burned far too easily to be edible, much of it was delicious.

Even adults started coming to watch the show, interested in what all their children had gotten so worked up over in the hot-room. Cringe didn’t mind the parents watching - he could understand it. If his kids went off with some stranger not even from the same clan every morning he’d be suspicious too. Once or twice even  _ Alphys  _ showed up, watching on in amazement and getting samples of food Cringe had prepared. By the third time she came she all but  _ demanded _ she use the rock to try out this strange cooking thing. Cringe made it into a competition, and Alphys accepted without question.

It ended with Undyne being called in to treat several minor burns on her and Cringe - they may have gotten a bit over excited.

And when his day isn’t spent in the hot-room it is back to his new group of friends, weaving baskets, shelling kelp and occasionally humming tunes that Cringe has never heard before. They remind him of a much pitchier version of the lullabies his mother sang. Sometimes he even tries to sing along, guessing at what sound comes next. At times he is sure he can feel the babies in their shells dancing along.

Whenever he has the energy for it Cringe still practices his swimming. He has better control of construct magic - perhaps one day he may actually be able to create an ecto-tail to wrap around what is left of his real one. Certainly not now with the babies eating away every bit of magic he has to spare (Not to mention how heavy they have become), but maybe one day...

And the babies are certainly getting big. By now they are the size of guppies ready to be born. They have eaten through the majority of the egg around them, only a thin, translucent barrier of magic surrounding them. If Cringe positions himself correctly he can even see them curled up. One is much bigger than the other, taking after it’s father. The other has remained somewhat small. That is all that can be told about them, as their features are hard to make out and they won’t develop a color of magic until well after they are born.

Cringe hopes one is blue… like the sky above the sea. He likes that color a lot. Many of his sisters took that color, so it is certainly a possibility. Maybe one will be that rusty red their father sports on his tail. Perhaps they will end up with freckled spots, or stripes, or a mix of several colors!

_ ~~God forbid one of them be golden like~~ _ ~~**him** ~~

When all of the chores for the day are done, dinner is eaten and the clan is winding down Cringe gets… restless. Vermilion is around much of the day, but because Cringe is busy he is easy to ignore unless he is being particularly clingy - but at night it’s different. There is no distraction or respite from his attention, and even though he still won’t  _ force _ Cringe to cuddle, his eyes are always on him. Watching.

Cringe… doesn’t know what to think of his new mate anymore. It is hard to merge the idea that he had of him when they met with the mer he sees now. Vermilion has so many scars, a terrifying face, and a crooked tail - all signs of a mer better left abandoned at birth. Just a year ago Cringe would have thought it merciful to put such a creature out of its misery - one so ugly couldn’t possibly be worth anything in this world. 

And yet, Vermilion doesn’t seem so frighteningly ugly to Cringe anymore.

His flaws are getting easier to overlook, his defects melding more into his personality. Just like everyone else he is getting to know more and more about the inner workings of this mer. He is kind, loves children, is generally well liked, hates the taste of anything even remotely bitter like root vegetables… 

Cringe sometimes wonders if he had outright refused to carry Vermilion’s children if things would be different. At the time he felt as if there was little choice - mate with this creature or be subjected to a very short life of loneliness. And yet the more time he spends around Vermilion the more he realizes that he wants a mate for more than just children, or sex, or status… he wants a companion.

~~_ He wants what Cringe thought he had with  _ **the other one** ~~

And Cringe doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t know if he wants these babies, or this mate, or this  _ life _ . He can’t even truly say he wants his old life anymore because it no longer feels real - like a past life, or a dream. His existence seems to have always been here, among these strange mers. The idea that he was ever able to swim without struggle or sit without pain is becoming more and more absurd. While he can remember every face within his clan in perfect detail, it feel as though they never existed - like vivid wisps of a daydream.  Whoever Cringe was when he lived in his clan before, it certainly cannot co-exist with the creature that Cringe has become now.

So who does that make him? Is he Cringe - the strongest fighter, fastest swimmer, mate of a natural born leader who just so happened to befall and accident that lead to his downfall? Or is he Cringe, the crippled mer who refused to allow his life to end, doing everything he had to to survive and build a new life for himself among strangers. When he chooses to stay with Vermilion for the night he feels like latter - unsure and confused and out of place. When he chooses to stay alone he feels like the former - alone and scared and mourning.

It’s all so confusing.

He spends half of his nights wondering about what would have happened if he had never been bitten. He’d be back with his family and his sisters, possibly pregnant with  **_that mer’s_ ** children, blissfully unaware that when push comes to shove, Cringe was discard-able to him. Cringe may have gone his whole life never knowing that his mate didn’t feel for Cringe what Cringe felt for him. Did anyone else know?? They all abandoned Cringe too - so is he the only one from his clan to have these feelings of loyalty? Of love?? Does that mean there’s something wrong with him?? Is he just as defective as the mers living here, but in his mind instead of his body???

Despite the reservations that Cringe has about his life, the universe, and everything, time keeps marching forward. Days roll by in a mostly-pleasant breeze. The tides come in, the tides wash out. The seasons start to change and the long summer days give Cringe less and less time to reflect and more time to enjoy the changes in his life. 

Slowly but surely, he is adjusting. His mind relaxes as routine takes over. At some point he stops thinking all together, moving with the motions of each day - and soon he feels content again. Blissful, so long as he keeps his mind busy and uses his short nights to sleep instead of think.

And then, one night, when he is sitting in Vermilion’s arms feeling the babies move around some, he realizes he doesn’t feel out of place any more. The cracks in his mind have mended, and he feels reformed. 

_ I am Cringe. I am me. _

His body relaxes and he sinks into Vermilion's arms. 


	13. Savior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cringe gets caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unlucky chapter 13~ >:3

The babies are going to be born any day now, Cringe can feel it. The eggs now roll around inside of him as if the little mers inside have finally developed enough to start trying to explore. As soon as they break the final seals of the shell Cringe will go into labor. From watching the mothers of his clan give birth he knows it could take a few days for them to be ready, yet nevertheless Cringe is anticipating it.

It won’t be much longer before Cringe is a mother. 

The thought plays over and over in his mind and he allows himself a bit of excitement. He has had his reservations about having children in the past; during this tough and stressful pregnancy there have been many times where Cringe felt no desire to raise these children. However Cringe finds that nature has its way of making him excited for these babies… 

Not to mention the fact that when these little rascals are out of him he’ll have his body back. He can’t wait for them to get out so he can be  _ free _ of their annoying weight at his middle. He can finally have his magic back at full force; then he can start learning to swim again and finally go back to being a  _ real _ mer.

Of course, once they are born they will want their father. Mer’s are a type of creature who pair off to raise their young - very few mothers could make it alone in Cringe’s school; they would need to find a way to hunt and feed both themselves and their gups as well as fend off predictors. Most mothers wouldn’t make it through their gup’s first year without help. Even though Cringe has a feeling that’s quite different here, he still desires a partner in raising his children. 

There really is only one option for Cringe, and while Cringe has decided that he does not despise Vermilion anymore, he doesn’t love him either. He  _ won’t _ love him. He loved once, and that was enough for him. He didn’t need someone to care about him, nor take risks for him, nor cheer him up. Cringe can tolerate the snuggling as a compromise to the other, but he doesn’t feel as though he is capable of ever feeling for Vermilion.

_ He’ll never feel about another mer the way he felt about ~~Him~~. _

And yet, the idea of raising gups alone still frightens Cringe, and he supposed that Vermilion has as much a right to the children as Cringe did (even if Cringe did more work to bring them into this world…). Cringe has grown to at least tolerate Vermilion’s company, and staying with him at night did make Cringe feel less alone. He doesn’t have to love Vermilion, he decides, but being his mate is better than being all alone.

So Cringe wakes up early one morning before his mate and leaves without a word.

* * *

Cringe sighs hard as he turns over yet another rock to find absolutely nothing underneath. He has been searching all morning for the perfect gift for Vermilion so that Cringe can accept his pearl. He has seen where Vermilion kept it in the silt, still hoping for Cringe’s acceptance. If nothing else, Vermilion is certainly persistent; at least he’s somewhat charming.

Cringe has found a few shells from hermit crabs that have long found new homes, a few tumbled, pretty pebbles - but nothing that he feels is good enough for him. His mating gift must be the  _ best _ , the number one! He won’t be seen as some crummy mate who returns a  _ pearl _ with a  _ rock _ . Besides, he always wanted his mating gift to be the best.

_ He gave countless pearls to  ~~ Him ~~ _

The babies eventually demand that he rest, squirming and draining him until he sits down on a rock. He runs a thumb over the summoned-flesh and sighs, feeling frustrated. The day-currents have started up and Vermilion will no doubt be looking for him soon. He met little resistance leaving the caves, though he got a few strange looks from mers who he passed on the way out. Cringe kept his head up high, refusing anyone who tried to lead him back to the nursery. He had a mission.

He moves off the rock and lays out on his back; he enjoys being outside again. It is honestly beautiful out here. There are algae-covered boulders specked across a landscape long stalks of seagrass and floral swaying in the current. When the babies are born he’ll have more energy to come out here and explore.

He is sitting in an empty clearing only a dozen or so tail-lengths from the opening he came from. It is flat out here, and easy to move around, though the grass could easily hide treasures that would make for a good gift. It winded him moving around so much on limited magic, however he has gotten much better at moving with a combination of blue-magic and pattle-bone constructs.

Cringe sighs, almost ready to give in and go back inside. No doubt if Vermilion found out he left the mer would never let Cringe be, the over protective asshole… Cringe snorts foundly. 

Just as he pulls himself up to swim back to the cave he spots something out of the corner of his eye. He almost shrugs it off before a loud  _ crasssh _ and  _ hisssss  _ sounds and something drops into the water. Cringe turns, summoning back his paddles to swim around the bend to investigate what looks like a strange trick of the eye. Except this is no trick. There is a shadow in the water, blocking out the little light that makes it this far down, under which is a collection of…  _ things _ that float about, glinting occasionally when they catch the reflection of the refracted sun. 

Cringe gets closer, going slow just in case this is some sort of beast, or a trap. It’s massive, whatever it is. The matrix of weaves is enough to hold several schools of fish. He is surprised that no one else has come out to see such an odd occurrence - somewhere in the back of his mind Cringe knows this is a mistake, yet all he can think about is his search for the perfect gift, and the little shiny orange dots that cover the  _ something _ are just what he’s looking for. 

They’re like huge pearls! Orange, oversized, oddly shaped pearls. It’s the perfect gift to give his vermilion mate-to-be; a thank you for saving him, as well as accepting the other’s apology for all of his many transgressions against him - and an agreement that Cringe will stay with Vermilion as long as he is required and that Vermilion, in return, will stay with Cringe.

~~_ Because god only knows that Cringe can’t stand the idea of being left again. _ ~~

The item sinks lower and lower from where it crashed in from the surface, leaving a trail of bubbles in its wake. It is almost on the ground when Cringe finally gets under it, pushing himself up on his aching tail to reach up and pluck at one of the little orange pearls floating above him.

Its slippery - almost slimy despite its rough appearance. It isn’t at all like what Cringe was expecting and he immediately falls back on his tail. Disgruntled, he picks himself back up to try again. With two hands he is able to grasp the tiny rock; even as he yanks and pulls at the cord surround the pebble it doesn’t give, just bringing the strange material closer down to him. He summons a sharp bone to try to pry off the little bead, and yet the otherworldly substance doesn’t yield.

Before he knows it the material has fallen so low Cringe is forced to lay down as not to get caught up in it. It’s probably time to go, he thinks, flapping his buzzing sore tail to try to crawl away from the descending sheet. And yet, he finds that it is getting hard to move - the netting has fallen onto his back, and Cringe is struck by just how  _ heavy _ the material is. Still, he knows he will be able to get out if he just squirms a little. The sheet is big, but not  _ that  _ big. He’s almost at the edge!

...Which he can’t pick up.

His fingers pry under the rim of the net, and yet those orange pearls seem to have fastened it to the ground with their weight. Cringe can feel himself start to panic, his tail twisting and thrashing as he attempts to push himself through the webbing - but it is just too heavy to be moved and too tightly knit for him to get through. That doesn’t stop him from trying, though, and that is his undoing, as once he gets an arm through he finds he can’t get it back out, catching on his bones and pulling at them painfully.

Cringe screeches loudly, calling out for help as he twists onto his back, crying and moaning and yelling for someone,  _ anyone _ to come save him. 

He screams.

He cries.

He’s alone again. He left without telling anyone, and those who knew where he went don’t know who he is, or who to tell. He calls out over and over in vein, knowing that he’s trapped himself yet again, this time by his own stupidity and not just misfortune. 

_ Orange on blue surrounds him _

_ Orange and blue flicking away in the distance. _

He screams again.

He sobs.

But nobody c-

A streak of vermilion takes Cringe’s attention right away. He stares in disbelief as his mate turns the corner of the rocks, catching sight of Cringe and launching himself at forward without hesitation. He swims at speeds that Cringe didn’t think possible for a mer of his size. Cringe chips, desperate. Thank god… thank _ god _ he’s here!!

Vermilion swims over Cringe, looking down on him from the top side of the net, carefully lifting it up with all of his strength. It alleviates some of the pressure, but it isn’t enough for Cringe to get his arm free or even wiggle out much at all. He whines as Vermilion is forced to think of another way out for them. Cringe continues to beat his tail, becoming far too claustrophobic under the oppressive sheet.

Vermilion goes for Cringe’s hand, attempting to gently guide it through the holes of the net that it has woven itself into. Cringe holds still, sitting up as much as he could so that Vermilion can unbraid him. He looks into the mer’s eyes that Vermilion has fixed on the task before him. How did he find him? Why did he go out looking? Surely his people knew this thing was dangerous - that’s why Cringe saw no one here, isn’t it? They had all fled. So Vermilion had to have gone to the most dangerous place that only the stupidest, most reckless mer would dare travel to look for Cringe.

On second thought, this might be the most logical place to look for Cringe.

Vermilion has maneuvered Cringe’s hand through the first few loops and almost had him out of the next one when a mind numbing cacophony fills the water. Cringe attempts to cover his ears, though his hand is still far too tangled and he is forced to endure as the world around him seems to bend to the noise. The water around them  _ pounds _ as the shadow becomes fuzzy and begins to travel, taking the net with it. Cringe and Vermilion look up at it, and then back at each other, sharing a momentary, horrified gaze. They are out of time.

Vermilion doubles his efforts to free his mate’s hand from the webbing while Cringe unintentionally undoes his work as he yanks it back practically in a panic. No amount of soothing or reassurance from his mate can calm the terror in his soul. Shit shit shit  _ shit shit _ \- The ground below him seems to move as the ropes surround Cringe and swallow him up, dragging him along at an uncomfortable angle. Vermilion follows along, swimming after Cringe as the net picks up speed. He has summoned bones to try to cut the net, sticking them up out of the ground and into the holes. It slows the movement down some and allows him time to grab at Cringe, trying once again to pry him free and rip a hole in the sheet. It buys time, but not enough, as the constructs break and Cringe is carried away again.

_ It’s no use, _ Cringe knows.  _ He won’t be able to break the ropes… _

Cringe feels his soul sink. There is nothing that can be done; he’s doomed. Just like last time there is no saving him - he’s still alive but he’s dead in the water. He knows it - Vermilion knows it; If only he had just  _ stayed dead  _ that first time…

Cringe knows what happens next, and he would like to say that he isn’t heartbroken to see Vermilion swim away; his second and final mate’s tail flicking up and out of sight for Cringe as he is dragged across the ocean floor. Because of course he’d leave - any idiot could see that Cringe was a lost cause.

_ Again. _

He won’t make it long this way - he can already feel his bones scraped and bruised from the ocean floor. Soon he’ll hit a rock, or some predator will be scooped up with him ( _ please, not a shark _ ), or maybe he’ll be pulled to the surface and die from the pressure up there - either way, soon he’ll be no more.

Blood fills the water around him from some wound, a familiar sight to Cringe’s eyes. It fades a bit as is dragged, leaving a rusty-brown trail behind him.

_ Orange on blue, vermilion trails… _

_ Cringe has been abandoned again. _  
  
  
  


…

 

And yet-

_ BAM!!! _

Cringe flinches hard when he feels his entire world rock - a shock-wave rippling through the water as he clenches his fists on anything he can hold onto for support. It sends Cringe back a foot into the net, painfully dislodging his hand as he is thrown. Waves are tumbling about him as the net stops moving and Cringe looks up in absolute shock. 

Above him is his mate - vermilion tail flicking as he holds what is truly the largest blaster that Cringe has ever laid eye on. His eyes go wide in shock as Vermilion charges it again, hardened eyes looking directly at the shadow above. 

He isn’t attacking the net anymore.

He’s attacking the  _ wielder _ .

Cringe braces himself, ready for the shockwave now that he can see it coming. He tries to keep his eyes open though, unable to look away as he sees the blast hit the shadow, energy heating and tumbling the water. The creature that has Cringe in its grasp rocks, damaged by the attack. Cringe doesn’t know what predator this is, but it must be strong. A blast from a gun like that should have taken it at least down to half health.

How… Just how strong  _ is _ Vermilion!?   


Cringe was easily one of the top fighters in his clan, and his blasters could do maybe a tenth of that sort of damage if he tried. His magic was honed for fighting, despite its limitations - in fact most of his clan’s magic was trained to be the very best it could be. And yet - And yet he’s never...  _ never _ seen this much raw strength from one mer.

How could Cringe not have known? Had he ever seen Vermilion use his magic?

Surely Vermilion -  _ his Vermilion _ \- couldn’t be hiding something like this behind that lazy smile of his.

Something clicks in Cringe’s mind; it is the worst possible moment for a revelation, but regardless something occurs to Cringe that never really crossed his mind before.

_ Is it possible for a skeleton mer to be mates with a non-skeleton mer? _

As unrelated as the question seems, it makes sense in Cringe’s mind. A mer with this raw strength could survive on his own, assuming such a mer has no desire for company - which Vermilion clearly does - but the point is he  _ could _ live alone. Possibly for a long time.

Cringe hadn’t seen any other skeleton mers since he lost his school… Not a one. It didn’t strike him as too odd - they were a very rare breed, but he assumed that at least one clan had decided to stay with this mega-school. He just hadn’t seen them yet. 

But if that were the case then Vermilion would have been mated as soon as he was old enough to produce eggs. If there was  _ anyone _ in this Clan who knew about his strength they would want to have his children.

But there isn’t anyone who can take his eggs.

Because Vermilion lost his school too.

Vermilion was alone.

Until he-

Another blast hits the shadow as it starts back moving, this time at twice the speed. Cringe is able to flap his tail into a better position to be carried off as the net carries him along the bottom of the ocean once again. Except now instead of being pulled along the ground Cringe is tumbled and dragged. He yelps in pain as one of his fresh cuts is dug into by a handful of pebbles. He wraps his arms protectively over his stomach - the babies are so close to hatching, he can’t let them get hurt like this!!

He screeches, half in pain, half begging for his mate to do something.  _ Anything _ !

He doesn’t want to be alone anymore… 

And suddenly, he gets his wish, as Cringe watches in mild horror Vermilion swims up and into the giant net. The blaster is still firing at the shadow as Vermilion moves. He swims down as fast as he can, maneuvering the net carefully before landing beside Cringe and taking him into his arms. Cringe clings to him, burying his face into the other’s chest. The net is moving too fast now - they’ll never get out.

_ I’m sorry… I doomed us both…  _ Cringe thinks, crying _.  _ He mourns the loss of his life, his mate’s life, the children they won’t get to have together… he mourns over everything he has gained with this mer just to lose.

But he doesn’t regret it - not once does Cringe regret a thing, except maybe going after that stupid pebble. He had found so much happiness and joy in this clan; in his new friends. He feels glad his life didn’t end with the shark attack, even if he died in only so many days after. His time with Vermilion, and Frisk, and Chara, and Alphys and all of his new friends was perfect. He doesn’t regret living to meet them all, not even a little.

He only wishes it could have lasted longer…

…

 

 

 

They are slowing down.

Cringe opens his eyes again, looking back up at Vermilion, who is looking back down at him with glowing eyes. He realizes his hands are still keeping their death grip on Vermilion’s ribs, and yet he can’t persuade himself to let go.

Surround them are almost twenty blasters, many of which are bigger than Cringe by a factor of ten. They fill the entire net, swimming against it’s pull and yanking it back until the shadow is forced to slow and still. When the net is pulled taut and held open by the skull-heads Vermilion gently swims them towards the opening.

Cringe looks at him in awe, eyes wide. Vermilion did it… he saved them… He risked everything - his own life. For  _ Cringe _ .

He feels his soul burn and he buries his face into Vermilion's chest once more, this time to laugh. How is this possible?? How is it that  _ Cringe _ is mated to someone so strong?? He can feel those giant eggs in him and suddenly he is filled with hope at just how  _ strong and able _ they’ll be. 

And if he’s lucky, they’ll be even half as brave, loyal, and  _ kind _ .

He laughs again, reaching up and pulling Vermilion’s mouth down to his in joy, running a thumb along the fang marks he left on Vermilion’s jaw so long ago. Their teeth clink together in the kiss, Vermilion’s pearl teeth jutting out a bit against Cringe’s smooth white fangs. Perhaps now isn’t the best time, but Cringe isn’t entirely in the right state of mind. All he knows is that he loves this creature - he  _ loves _ this kind, lonely mer that decided one day that he would take his chances reviving Cringe’s annoying, ungrateful ass and giving him a place to stay. He is thankful for his patience, is kindness, his love…

Vermilion looks more than a little surprised, pulling back in confusion with a blush. He smiles though, a strong grin breaking across his face that looks more genuine than anything he has shown Cringe before. They have escaping to do, but the look that Vermilion gives Cringe says that they have much to catch up on when they get home.

The swimming continues, up and up toward the lip of the netting-

-Until there is yet another shift in the water.

The net is falling down at a rapid pace; it seems the blasters pulled too hard, and whatever was keeping the net up isn’t doing that anymore. The shadow changes shape before a loud  _ crash _ hits the water, filling it with bubbles as Vermilion’s eyes widen.

The next second is a blur, but Cringe feels bone arms wrap around him as Vermilion swims back down as fast as he can, using his body to shield Cringe from the debris falling suddenly from the sky. He goes as fast as he can, but it isn’t enough. Cringe feels his grip break away from Vermillion as he is thrown back and let to fall into something heavy, dazing him as his body floats down into the darkness… down……. Down………

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is. So much I don't like about this fic. I would go back and rewrite it if I wasn't kinda done with it. I feel I left a lot of things open and never really closed up? I rushed through a lot of the "romance" and plot and I'm not too satisfied with the product. There are also several errors that I overlooked and reading back the first few chapters I realize I need to SERIOUSLY edit this.
> 
> Regardless, I got it done, and that's good enough for me. Next time I write I'll do better.


	14. Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here come the babies...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all SO MUCH for your support in the last chapter. You've all helped me so much as a writer with your comments and I thank you for all of your encouragement. Thanks to you guys I have FINALLY found a new project to work on, and I will try to be finishing it in time to post directly after this fic. I feel as though my ability to write has been restored!! Thank you all so much!!

Cringe’s hazy mind recalls panic, and yet can’t feel it. He dreams of falling, feeling the ghost of Vermilion’s arms holding him as the water glides past him on his descent. His unconscious state couldn’t have lasted more than a few moments, and yet in that time he seems to relive every moment since he was bitten; his days of waiting in purgatory, his discovery, meeting Vermilion and his tail-jerk reaction to the other’s appearance, his impregnation, recovery, confinement, meeting Alphys, teaching the others to cook… throughout it all Vermilion stays in view as the main focus, as if the memories are playing out around him in the darkness and turning his head just slightly will center him on a new memory of those lazy eyes, his relaxed smile.

How could Cringe had ever thought he was terrifying or ugly, when he looks at Cringe with such cute, loving eyes? It was silly - almost enough to make Cringe laugh. Vermilion loved him - even from the bitter beginning Vermilion  _ loved Cringe _ … There is warmth in his soul at the thought, making his spine tingle.

Then Cringe’s body touches down and he is awake again in the wake of the crash, and he is jared from his daze.

Vermilion. 

Where’d he go.

Cringe is immediately up on his tail; he is out of energy to call his magic to help him swim, so he simply drags his abused tail behind him as he crawls around, looking for his mate. The mud has been upturned in the water and Cringe is forced to squint to avoid blinding himself entirely as he drags his fingers beneath him, hoping to brush against familiar bones. The little eggs within him wiggle and Cringe feels absolutely relieved. They’re alive. They’re a bit shook up, but Cringe’s strong-ectoflesh kept them safe. When he and Vermilion return he swears he will go right to the midwife and demand she force his body to give birth. He can’t take much more of this; and neither can the babies.

Of course, she may not have to, as the wiggling gets more and more intense. Cringe whines, resting a hand against his eggs. This is absolutely the  _ wrong _ time to be giving birth, and yet the gups seem to be ready. 

He needs to find Vermilion. 

Fast.

Cringe doubles his efforts, crawling and chipping out for Vermilion. The water is saturated with muck, silt and bubbles. Cringe keeps a horrified, careful eye out for anything that looks like dust or seafoam, but thankfully it seems that so far there is none of that. The net is strewn harmlessly on the ground in bunches, and if Cringe had the magic he would blast it away to bits. He carefully maneuvers around the damned thing for now, trying to find where his mate landed.

Finally he runs into his answer - literally. He crawls until his head bangs against an unnaturally smooth rock that makes a perfect rectangle. It is huge, thicker than Cringe’s tall and speared into the ground. There isn’t a creature alive that Cringe knows of that would be strong enough to lift the strange rock; it has to be what came down on them when they were pulling the net…

Which means that this is also what fell onto Vermilion.

Cringe’s soul seizes with horror, quickly making circles around the prism and calling out as loud as he can.

It couldn’t have crushed him, could it have?? Vermilion can’t be dead. He just… can’t be. Not after everything they’ve been through! Not now that Cringe has  _ finally _ decided to let him be his mate. 

 

No no Vermilion isn’t dead yet - he’ll only be dead if Cringe finds seafoam and dust. And he hasn't found any of that yet. Therefore - not dead.

So he keeps looking, frantically rounding the debris over and over, making wider passes around it as he calls out. The murky water makes it impossible to see more than a few inches before his face - making his search frustratingly difficult. Cringe’s stomach cramps hard and he feels one of the eggs do a full summersault.  _ You better not be hatching _ … Cringe thinks angrily at his babies, still attempting to crawl. These two are absolutely  _ not _ allowed to be born until their Father is safe. 

Finally, Cringe’s hand makes contact with something familiar. He sobs with relief as his hand touches Vermilion’s arm. He feels up his mate, making sure that nothing is horribly damaged. He is extra careful in touching the other’s tail and fins, double checking that those haven’t been torn at all.

Thankfully, Vermilion is in one piece, though he is stiller than death. Colder than it too. Cringe can feel his soul beating softly, and magic flows through him, but for some reason Vermilion doesn’t move or rouse at all when Cringe calls to him.

He looks like the elders right before they die, or a sickly child - when their bodies fail even though their souls are still functioning; right before they fall.

Cringe grips Vermilion’s shoulder tightly, pulling him against Cringe’s tattered tail as he wails - screaming as loud as he can in hopes of garnering the school’s attention. He bellows louder than he ever knew his obnoxiously boisterous voice to go.

_ HELP. PLEASE, SOMEBODY!!! _

Cringe keeps up his call until his voice is too hoarse to even whisper. He curls up around Vermilion’s skull, petting him gently as he feels another contraction hit. All he can do now is hope and pray that one of the clan members heard him and can get to them before some predator does...

_ Please… please come. _

After a hellish eternity of waiting Cringe can feel the water shift with a familiar presence. His head snaps up as he squints to see Alphy’s yellow form swimming through the water towards him. He chirps in relief, calling her and the search party behind her to his location. He is too drained to do anything else, resting his head down on Vermilion’s chest when he realizes they’re safe.

_ See… we made it, _ He thinks eyes closing.  _ We made it, Vermi…  _

Exhaustion overtakes him, blanketing him as he feels his body lifted up. He only resists when he realizes that Vermilion is being taken away, though when he sees Undyne carefully looking him over he relaxes and sighs. Good. They’ll take care of him… 

Cringe feels himself be passed off more than once as he is carried back to the caves. He is surprised how far they’ve gone - it surely didn’t feel like more than a five minute swim; though somehow the actual experience felt like an eternity in length.

Suddenly he sees the nursery walls - it is the first thing he registures before even noticing that he’s returned home. The women are crowded around him, looking him over to make sure that their friend is alright. Cringe looks up at them and smiles. Aw… They care about him… that’s nice…

Asgore makes his appearance, guiding the crowds away so that Undyne can look Cringe over. Her hands are lit with magic as she examines Cringe’s womb. Cringe frowns, remembering that Vermilion is much more hurt than he and should be receiving medical attention first. He wines, hands wrapping around Undyne’s when they get close enough as he pushes her towards where he saw Vermilion taken. She snatches her hands back and shakes her head, returning to her healing.

Cringe hopes that isn’t a bad sign.

Cringe is moved at some point to softer, warmer ground closer to the heat-room. He is sat up enough to where he can see his belly, and indeed the babies are hatching. He can’t help his smile when he sees tiny skeletal fingers poke through the thinned-out membrane surrounding the infants. Cringe hopes that they are okay after all they’ve been through - after all Cringe  _ put _ them through.

He feels like crying. 

He wants his mate.

He calls out once again for Vermilion, delirious and emotional. He should be here for this - Cringe doesn’t want to do this alone and he  _ certainly _ doesn’t like not knowing the fate of the one who saved his life so many times over just today. Undyne is nowhere to be found - one of the other mothers he had gotten to know so well stays by him and offers him a hand to hold. Cringe refuses, despite there being no other options for comfort. He wants Vermilion - he wants his mate; there is no substitute he will accept right now. 

Cringe’s flesh cramps and if he still had fins they would curl as his body preps the babies to exit. His fingers claw the dirt under him. Oh god it hurts. Is it supposed to be painful? Is this normal? His breathing is erratic as the mothers watching him surround him, mimicking deep, easy breaths. Cringe tries to follow along, he really does, but everytime his soul has calmed enough his body spasms again and he’s back to panicking.

Tears leave his eyes as he can see the last of the shells break away from what is about to be his first born. They are upside down and Cringe once again has to wonder if all of this is normal as his body works up the pressure to birth his child. His teeth grit so hard he’s sure he’s going to chip a tooth as he tries to flick his tail to find a better position to do this in. He is held down by the others, who probably assumed that he is having a fit. Cringe lets out a continuous whine as he rides through the cramp, silencing only when it stops.

The next one will push the gup out for sure… 

And yet there is  _ still _ no sign of his mate!! 

Cringe calls weakly for him, letting his tears fall openly as his chest heaves with sobs. What if he died? Is that why no one will answer him or fetch him? Did he fall down? Has he not woken up? Where is he?? Why isn’t he here!? Those around him try to comfort him, trilling, lighting magic and holding him, but does little good when the fate of Cringe’s most prized person is still unknown. He moans, feeling his body work back up. Like it or not, the babies are coming right now.

Cringe sees a flash of deep, rusty orange out of the corner of his eye.

His head snaps up, voice trilling as Vermilion floats at the opening of the tiny cave. He sobs in relief when he sees the mer conscious and lucid, looking at him with the same relief. Vermilion is hurt, and he looks exhausted, but he’s  _ alive _ . The next contraction hits and Cringe throws his head back. He shakes his head when Vermilion starts to come towards him, wobbling a bit as he attempts to swim

_ No, go back to Undyne. I can do this… _ He thinks. Thankfully Undyne follows him in and practically drags Vermilion away to receive medical treatment. Cringe gives him a resolute nod. Yes, good. Go get healed - Cringe  _ and  _ the babies will be here when he is ready. Vermilion ends up being carried out by Alphys, never breaking eye contact with Cringe as he leaves. Alphys turns on the way out, giving Cringe a little nod and a positive gesture. She knows he can do this.  
Confidence renewed, Cringe takes a deep breath, and  _ pushes _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is some-what of an epilogue, but it does wrap up the main story lol.


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

If it weren’t for Undyne practically holding him down with green magic Vermilion would be pacing by now. It’s been almost a full day since he’s seen his mate and he just can’t contain the nervous excitement going through him. Honestly if it were up to him he’d be out of this stupid cave and there with his mate and his children - though that seems to be the reason they’ve kept him here. Even he knows he needs to let his body rest after everything he’s been through, despite the fact that he can’t wait to see his children and mate.

His  _ mate and children. _ It is so amazing to him that he gets to think that after so long of  _ knowing  _ that he would be alone for his entire life; a family was just too impossible to dream of. He still doesn't believe it - He still has trouble comprehending the events of this warm season. 

Vermilion watched his family die very young; he doesn’t remember what happened to them, just the horror of coming out of hiding to see no one for miles - only piles of dust and seafoam floating away. His school looked just like him - they were big, strong, and all skeletons. As far as he knew, they were they only ones, after that he never saw another skeleton monster again; from that moment on, Vermilion was alone in the world.

He traveled alone for a long time, searching for other mers who he could blend in with. After weeks of searching he found a school traveling east; except these ones were strange to the young Vermilion, who had only ever known other skeletons. These mers had soft, squishy flesh all over their bodies, not just their tails. He was nervous, but eventually worked up the courage to travel with them. 

They were not as receptive to Vermilion as Vermilion was to them.

They recoiled in disgust when they saw him, horrified by such an ugly, creepy creature, yet because he was a child they allowed him to stay with them while they migrated. He can’t say he wasn’t grateful - being so young Vermilion would have died quickly if he traveled alone for long; but it was a very lonely experience. Vermilion watched children with their parents, sometimes even sneaking into their nursery to try to snuggle in with a family; every time he was chased out by an angry father or protective mother. Eventually Vermilion left when he saw another school of mers, hoping for a chance to belong again somewhere, though none of them were skeletons and Vermilion once again stuck out.

This is how he spent much of his childhood, jumping from clan to clan before finally giving up and going out to live on his own when he was old enough to survive. It was around that time that he started going into heat; spending his nights curled up alone in caves and waiting for the awful feeling to abate, knowing that if he were caught by a predator in such a state he would be killed for sure. From traveling with so many schools Vermilion had seen mates and mating, though he never was given the chance to partake. He had had a few crushes here and there, but they never returned his affections, instead choosing someone of their own kind - someone who they could have children with.

Because Vermilion, being the last of his kind, would never have children.

At least, that’s what he thought.

It was many years ago that he stumbled across this strange clan composed of a heterogeneous mix of mers; it was Alphys who found him while she was leading a hunt. It would be years before she became captain, just another hunter in the crowd. Vermilion attacked her when she stole a kill he had been tracking - taking out her left eye in the scuffle. She never entirely forgave him for that… 

Despite the rough start it was the best change in Vermilion’s life; him being different from everyone else wasn’t so noticeable when the school is composed to so many different types of mer. As long as he could make himself useful he would belong - and  _ boy _ did they love how strong he was. The queen of the clan met with him after seeing first hand just what he could do after his confrontation with Alphys. She made him one of her personal guards, a position which might have been given to Alphys; she holds a grudge over that as well. He was given a good cut of the clan’s food, made plenty of friends, and quickly his health started to improve. He started to feel happy; for the first time he didn’t feel alone anymore.

It was only once a year that he was reminded of his solitude in the world.

Heats were as difficult as always; there was still no one in the clan who was willing to be with him, even just as a causual boyfriend or girlfriend. They would all rather have a mate that they could breed with, and even those who couldn’t breed still chose their own over someone who looked so different (not to mention Vermilion was more than a little roughed up from his early years). Many of the others felt sorry for him, and he did appreciate their sympathy, but for the most part he would spend those days alone in his little cave, waiting for the misery to pass.

And the years went by, Vermilion’s life fell into rountien, until one year something strange happened. He didn’t go into heat. Rather than be relieved like most, even Vermilion himself, would have expected, Vermilion felt panicked. Because he hadn’t found a mate his body has started to reject his heats early. Even though his chances of reproducing were already zero it was horrifying to know that very soon his bloodline would end, and the remainder of his inevitable fate to die alone threw him into despair.

From there his hearts were unpredictable - sometimes there would be one, sometimes not; other times he would have one in the cold season instead of the summer. He wasn’t old by any stretch of the imagination, plenty of mer’s his age were still looking for mates, but he just couldn’t sustain producing eggs every year for a mate that would never exist.

And that is where he thought his story would end - the loney mer who found a home only to live until he died alone.

Until it didn’t.

When he saw Cringe he had been out with a hunting party headed by the queen. She didn’t go out as much these days, but since it was a new hunting ground for them she decided to make an appearance. Naturally it was his job to follow her around and ensure that there were no threats to her or the party’s safety. While they were chasing down some kind of large prey Vermilion smelled rotting and was instantly put on high alert. Something like that either meant that there was a predator nearby, or that there would be soon. He summoned a weapon to search around, expecting to find some dead or dying animal being gored by a bottom feeder - but instead he found the one thing he never thought he’d see.

A skeleton mer. A tiny, broken skeleton mer barely clinging to life as his chest rose with shallow breaths, circulating what little magic he had left.

Vermilion got permission to rush home. It was a three day journey, but he made it in two, barging in on the healer and demanding that she help save the poor creature he found. She wasn’t too happy about it; almost everyone who saw Cringe expected him to die within a day; any efforts put into saving him seemed like a waste. However, Cringe proved them all wrong, becoming stable within a few hours. Vermilion spent every night by the mer’s side; every second of every day he wasn’t at his duties he was tending to the unconscious creature - carefully wrapping his tail, applying healing magic and gently feeding him as much as he could.

This had… unforeseen consequences. 

Vermilion started to heat by the second day - _badly_. His body hadn’t been this ready to mate in _years_ , and it began to mess with his head a little. The cause was obvious - the small creature he had been doting over night and day was dilated, bones heated with a fever not entirely related to his injuries

Vermilion wondered about what happened to Cringe - wondered if maybe this creature was like him, somehow. Perhaps his family was also taken from him? Perhaps he was separated, or just never had anyone to begin with. These thoughts lead him down a different path, feeling horror at the thought of someone being so alone, just like him. He didn’t know how many heats he had left - it was entirely possible that this was his last one, and this may be his only chance… 

And if he missed it, then Cringe would live without children as well. Vermilion found that the idea of putting someone else through the same lonely, mateless, childless hell that he’d been through was just as bad - if not  _ worse _ \- than the idea of missing out on those things himself.

So he made his choice; when the other woke up they would mate. 

This may not have been the right decision.

Cringe’s personality was… not exactly what Vermilion had been expecting. He honestly couldn’t say  _ what _ he was expecting, but certainly the little hellion that his new mate turned out to be wasn’t quite what Vermilion had envisioned from the unconscious, tiny mer he had known. Nevertheless, Vermilion wouldn’t be deterred. The other had clearly been through a lot, it was reasonable that he be so quick to anger and fear - not to mention the fact that heat has a way of escalating one’s emotions and causing them a good amount of discomfort.

Vermilion could at the very least help with that.

He was shocked and more than a little confused by Cringe’s reaction to the idea of mating. The smaller seems utterly  _ appalled _ . For a moment Vermilion thought his plan was dashed, though when the other finally relented he tried to be as gentle as possible. He had watched this process many times - even though he had no experience himself he tried his best to emulate what he saw made others feel good. 

And yet, despite his efforts, at no point did the other seem to truly enjoy what was happening. 

At the time Vermilion figured it must have to do with the size difference between them - despite both being skeletons they clearly weren’t the same species. However it soon became clear that it was more than just discomfort or nervousness. While it could all just be personality, Vermilion doesn’t entirely believe that; there is something at play here that he is missing, something he doesn’t know that would make Cringe’s abnormal behavior make sense. Perhaps it was the trauma of losing a limb, though it makes little sense why that would have affected his desire to mate...

Vermilion regretted getting Cringe pregnant almost every day after the event.

Cringe was not happy. Cringe  _ hated  _ him; anyone with eyes could see that (even Frisk seemed to notice…) No action, no kindness, no amount of love could seem to change the other’s mind about him - Vermilion became the target of Cringe’s seemingly endless supply of animosity. It amazed Vermilion how one so small could hold so much anger in him at any given time.

Luckily, Vermilion’s childhood gave him a lot of practice with being despised for reasons he didn’t always know or understand. He had a lot of patience, and since he was now this creature’s companion, he chose to move forward and do everything in his power to make the other feel comfortable and happy in his new home. Vermilion was going to have to  _ earn _ his mate.

There were bumps in the road, of course - by god were there bumps. Vermilion didn’t know the  _ definition _ of stubbornness until he met Cringe; even Alphys sometimes knew when she was beat. It was a constant struggle between them - a war where neither side truly knew what they were fighting for at any given time, and where winning any one battle typically left the victor feeling hollow and unsatisfied. 

There were times when Vermilion saw vulnerability in Cringe; sometimes ill hidden, and others on full display. Cringe wasn’t so much an open book as he was a billboard for everyone to see - when he felt an emotion he wanted the entire ocean plus the stars to know. The vulnerability came in when Cringe needed help; the idea of relying on another person to him seemed to be worse than death itself and Vermilion can’t for the life of him understand why. Vermilion spent so much of his life without anyone to lean on; he just can’t imagine why  _ anyone  _ would not want to take help when it’s offered.

He watched the other change over time; the biggest catalyst being when he was introduced to the nursery. The way that Cringe so quickly and easily adapted to his new social circle spoke volumes about his life before; Cringe wasn’t used to being alone at  _ all _ . By a few weeks in Vermilion wondered how on  _ earth _ he was able to keep such a ball of energy contained alone in his cave. Cringe became so vibrant and lively in a crowd! It was depressing to see how that light would die every time Vermilion came into the room, and even more so when he realized that Cringe was looking for another mate within the crowd. Didn’t he know that none of them were suitable - that if he truly wanted someone, Vermilion is his only option? Did he hate Vermilion that much??

And then there was the incident with the clams. 

Of course, Vermilion knew what Cringe wanted; he wanted the clams, whole and broken. He saw the way that Cringe reacted to seeing them break open the shells - he was  _ horrified _ . At the time, Vermilion didn’t know  _ why _ Cringe was upset over this, but running off with a handful of clams without permission was not only unacceptable, but completely out of character. Vermilion wanted to simply take Cringe to the side, have him calm down from  _ whatever it was this time  _ that twisted his tail, and then go  _ ask politely _ to borrow some of the clams.

This, apparently, was unacceptable to Cringe

Vermilion honestly thought that Cringe had just snapped - permanently losing what was left of his sanity over something that Vermilion couldn’t even  _ begin _ to comprehend. It was genuinely terrifying to see Cringe act this way - had he been at full strength Vermilion is sure that Cringe would have tried to kill someone. As it were, it was frightening enough to see him so inordinately angry over seemingly nothing.

The depression that preceded the meltdown gave Vermilion some indication of what Cringe would be like when he woke up, that’s why he got up early so that he could ask to take some of the clams back with him for Cringe. Asgore was more than happy to hand over a few for the couple; if Cringe had just been calm enough  _ the day before _ to go through this same process none of this would have happened. Though maybe it was for the best, because those moments they shared in the hot springs together, eating clams under their first truce was the beginning of something nice. Vermilion never thought of himself as the kind of person to try to win a mate’s affections over with gifts, however when Vermilion first went to get the clams for Cringe Asgore had given him a pearl that had been found with the clams… It was pretty and round and smooth with a blue tint to it - perfect for Cringe.

Vermilion can’t say he wasn’t surprised by Cringe’s rejection, though it did sting a little. Regardless, from that moment on their dynamic changed. The war was over, and even though it took time for Cringe to start coming to terms with their truce, Vermilion was relieved to see him happy. He had seen the silhouettes of his children and slowly they were growing into little merpeople - and for the first time Vermilion felt happy that Cringe was carrying his eggs. It seemed for a while that Cringe felt the same way, the two of them slowly drifting towards a happy couple dynamic.

 

All of that came crashing down this morning when Vermilion couldn’t find Cringe. 

 

At first he wasn’t too worried - Cringe disappears off on his own enough for Vermilion to understand that he was probably just out practicing swimming or being with friends. However after a while of not seeing him Vermilion started to fret; when the warning call was given for nets being dropped he absolutely panicked. In that moment - he didn’t know how and by  _ god  _ he didn’t know  _ why _ \- but Vermilion knew  _ exactly _ where his mate had gone. 

 

It’s always horrible to be proven right about something so wrong; finding Cringe trapped under one of the nets screaming his head off will always be the worst moment of Vermilions life. Worse than his school’s murder, worse than every rejection for love he got as a child. He doesn’t know what he did after that - he remembers what happened, but what he did wasn’t entirely up to him anymore. His actions were dictated by single-minded instinct and drive; despite their rocky relationship Vermilion was ready to die for his mate. 

And really, it had come far too close to that for comfort, but without Cringe his life was meaningless. Even if he found an entire school of skeleton mers Cringe was his mate, mother of his children and hellish light of his life. Nothing else mattered to him - nothing else ever  _ could  _ matter to him.

Vermilion loves Cringe.

And if Cringe’s kiss during the rescue was any indication, Cringe now loves Vermilion. 

Which is why the moment Undyne returns and gives Vermilion the okay to move he rushes out to go see his mate and the two new members of their tiny family. He can’t contain himself, grinning like an idiot as he swims in a flurry down the halls as fast as his tail would carry him. 

He finds Alphys in the room with Cringe - it is amazing how she and his mate got so easily along; Vermilion had been sure one would eventually try to kill the other, but it seems that their extreme personalities complement each other. She is the only one left in the room, as it seems that all of Cringe’s other friends have already given their wishes. Vermilion stands over the tiny mer with an admiring gaze directed at the two even tinier mers clutched to Cringe’s chest.

Vermilion can only stare as Cringe looks up, giving him the most genuine smile he’s ever seen on the other. The children in Cringe’s arms are perfect in every way. Vermilion had trouble picturing a mer tinier than Cringe, but these two are so incomprehensibly small for creatures that may one day be as big as he is. They are about the lengths of two palms, maybe three if you used Cringe’s hands. Their tails are a mix of blue and reddish-brown, woven between Cringe’s ribs as they cling to their mother for security and to feed off of his magic. Their little hands can’t even wrap fully around Cringe’s bones…

Cringe laughs when he sees Vermilion’s face, smirking as he motions Vermilion come close. Vermilion slowly waves his tail, carrying himself over to his mate to get a better look at the children he created. Vermilion puts a shaky hand on Cringe’s shoulder to ground himself, watching as the guppies nurse Cringe’ magic from his bones. His gaze then turns to Cringe, looking him over to make sure that the other is truly okay. Cringe huffs, annoyed, but even he won’t let something that petty get under him when there is so much good happening at the moment. Vermilion trills, pulling Cringe into a gentle hug as Alphys snickers. Cringe blushes, shooting Vermilion a look that borders on playful as Alphys waves, leaving the two new parents alone.

Cringe sighs when she leaves, leaning back into Vermilion. He carefully dislodges one of the newly born gups from his chest, much to the infants displeasure, and maneuvers it over to Vermilion. He holds the child carefully in his arms, as if it were a bubble about to burst. Cringe laughs, wrapping his arms around the other child less gently and bouncing them roughly. The child whines and giggles at the sudden movement. Cringe is going to make… an interesting mother. The gup seems to enjoy the rocking, at least.

Vermilion gets himself comfortable, wrapping his tail around Cringe’s. He notices when the other winces when he touches the flesh - the tail still gives Cringe trouble, he knows; he hopes one day whatever discomfort he feels will disappear entirely. He hopes that Cringe relearns to swim as well. If anyone could fully recover from an injury like this, it would be Vermilion’s favorite stubborn mate.

Cringe’s face turns up suddenly, looking Vermilion in the eye. His eyes are shining blue again - it’s such a pretty color. Vermilion could get lost in it easily. His own eyes are lit, creating a purplish hue that fills the room as they close their eyes and bring their mouths together. It wasn’t the best way to start a relationship - and it was certainly a rocky road getting here. Perhaps it’s not ideal, certainly Vermilion would have wanted to meet Cringe under better circumstances - when they were younger, when there was time to court, play games, know each other first. He does still wonder what Cringe’s tail looked like before it was mauled - he imagines it was beautiful - smooth like the rest of him. 

No, what they have isn’t perfect; but it looks like what they made together will be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... cannot believe it's over
> 
> YAY!!! This is the first time I've actually finished/published a full story like this. There was so much I never got to, so much I didn't add and took out and rewrote... but now its all done and I am so glad. Thank you all so much for your encouragement and kind words, and thank you for reading!! 
> 
> Some people have asked so I'm going to say right now; _I_ will not be writing a sequel to this. Sorry guys, however if anyone wants to continue this story please feel free. I love to see mer aus where ever they come from!! 
> 
> If you are looking for some more nautical adventures I will recommend [On a Never Resting Sea](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12351606/) by [Odderancy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamcatchers_and_chocolate/pseuds/Odderancy). It is a Pirate AU that just finished updating (coincidentally today).
> 
> If you want to see what I will be writing next I have a preview of my next story [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13908879/chapters/32009967). I am still working on a good title (again lol. Shout out to those who remember when this fic was titled "Mermaid Eggs")
> 
> And I want to give a final, BIG thank you to [DeckOfDragons](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/pseuds/DeckofDragons) who not only inspired me to write this, but re-blogged my posts and supported me. You are an amazing part of this fandom, and I am so glad that you made me want to write again. Thank you so much!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think in the comments! Even a little "Hello" will make my day <3


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